1. Economy sized pack of toilet paper, no pants.
2. Have you seen Chris Lowell’s hair?
3. “Still fits.”
4. Pete and Jill are ready for your shipping.
5. Parker Young has somehow managed to sublimate his smolder into the most adorable joy. He makes comedy out of a complete lack of cynicism. His earnestness is intense. If Randy Hill were to grab me by the shoulders and look me in the eyes, I feel like tiny puppies would just emerge from the shadows.
6. I’m never entirely sure which brother I am.
7. The bench is deep.
8. I share a hometown and an alma mater with Enlisted‘s creator, Kevin Biegel. I went to college in Boston. I grew up in Florida. We’re standing at the center of a rare and important Venn Diagram and we need to honor it.
9. Amy Pond makes a cameo appearance, still dressed for Florida 1969.
10. The cast has live-tweeting parties and will probably favorite all of your tweets. You will be made to feel very clever for typing out that funny joke that someone else wrote.
11. “I was gonna take him to Disney World.” “Oh sweet! Is he gonna wear the ears? He has to wear the ears.”
12. “I saw the image you posted online.” “You could have liked it.”
13. What are you doing going out before 9:30 on a Friday?
14. What are you doing going out?
15. We can’t let Mixology win.
Just get in on this.