Times Mulder and Scully Should Have Made Out This Week, Volume 2

Yesterday a number in the corner of my TV screen informed me that there are 202 episodes of The X-Files and I almost cried, partially because I’m so proud to live in a world that created 202 episodes of a show about sexy people catching aliens, partially because I never want it to end, and partially because I want to watch the whole series right now, all at once. Are there paying positions available for this sort of thing?

x files job hunt

This tweet GETS me.

While I wait for my dream job to open up, Scully and Mulder will move closer to various beds without making out on them.

Times Mulder and Scully should have made out in this week’s batch of episodes:


  • Note that when you put the title of this episode in quotation marks, it’s like mocking the idea of personal space.
  • That golf cart ride through the corridors of NASA is really taking a while. Maybe there are ways Mulder and Scully could fill the time.
mulder space golf cart nasa

Oh look, transport.

  • Scully expresses sarcastic excitement. “Yeah, ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning to braid my own hair.”
  • Mulder wants to unlock the doors of the universe.


“Fallen Angel”

  • “I didn’t order room service.”

fallen angel room service

  • “The last detail starring Daaaana Scullyyyy.”
  • Max tries to shake Scully’s hand and Mulder body checks him, because that’s what partners do.
  • “Enigmatic.” It’s only ok when Mulder says it.

x files enigmatic dr scully

  • Fox Mulder casually and unironically wears a plum polo shirt, and in another world, Scully kisses him for it and takes him on a date to a country club and they both celebrate living in the 90s.

mulder plum polo fallen angel

  • Scully looks into something just because Mulder believes it, and Mulder asks for Scully’s medical opinion because he trusts it. They LEARN from each other, you guys.
  • “Good luck.” “I’ll break a leg.”
I laughed at this so hard that I had to pause the episode and compose myself and would probably have married him on the spot.

I laughed at this so hard that I had to pause the episode and compose myself. I would probably have married him on the spot.


  • “What’s a girl?” Linger in that doorway just a little bit longer, and maybe you’ll find out.
  • I’m fully convinced that Scully and Mulder actually share one pair of fetching wire-rimmed spectacles. What they want to do when they exchange them is their business.

mulder glasses eve

  • They make a lot of significant eye contact when they receive matching panic buttons, because that’s a normal thing to do on a date.
  • “I just wanted to open the car door for you.”
I mean, sure?

I mean, sure?


  • “I’m sure I locked it.” “Must be an X file.” Oh you’re punning on the title of the show GET A ROOM.
  • “Oh is that what you were extending?”

sherlock don't cry

  • There is so much concerned touching.


  • She’s at his bedside, he’s shirtless, and nobody’s complaining.

mulder scully bed fire

  • Mulder puts on a robe when his British Plot Device shows up, but with Scully he’s completely comfortable walking around in his boxers. If someone could send help, that would be great.
  • Scully woos him with her British accent.

“Beyond the Sea”

  • Mulder calls her Dana in times of great emotional intensity.


  • “I love this job.”
  • When Mulder’s life hangs in the balance, Scully would tear down anything to save him. They can’t make out while he’s unconscious, but special mention needs to be made of the LOVE in her voice when she insists, “It may be a cold dark place for you, but it’s not for Mulder.” Scully SEES MULDER’S SOUL and she is VOUCHING FOR IT.
  • Hospital bedside make out, please, because of the soul-vouching.

x files beyond the sea hospital

“Gender Bender”

x files gender bender aphrodisiac

More like THIS guy.

  • “You need anything from the feed store?” YES I NEED YOU TO FIND THE NEAREST HAY BALE.
  • The map is a metaphor for something.

mulder map gender bender

  • Mulder keeps his arm protectively around Scully after he pulls her away from Andrew.
  • This wheat field is a secluded place to get lost for a while.

x files gender bender wheat


  • Scully doesn’t question for one second the fact that Mulder got her a birthday card. She doesn’t say, “You shouldn’t have,” or, “You didn’t have to do this.” She just says, “You’re two months early.”
  • I really hope she heard this through the phone.

mulder one hand on scully x files lazarus

  • “For those of you who don’t know already, this one’s important to me, so let’s do it right.” They’re not in the same room, but it deserves a mention.

scully watch x files lazarus

“Young at Heart”

  • Put Mulder’s dinosaur egg tie in the water. Make little foam dinosaurs, and maybe draw a bath with them.

x files young at heart tie

  • These two are TOP NOTCH at the walk and talk.
  • He touches the small of her back at lot.
  • Scully slowly removes her glasses to face down danger.

x files glasses scully young at heart


mulder wink young at heart x files

  • “Tells you a lot about the book, doesn’t it?” Yes, defy the system together, you two.

I’m really enjoying the closeness of these close encounters. Until next week!


  1. “Fox Mulder casually and unironically wears a plum polo shirt, and in another world, Scully kisses him for it and takes him on a date to a country club and they both celebrate living in the 90s.”

    I just rewatched this on UFO Day, and was crying about this shirt. Then you wrote this and I cried again.
    Do you want to ghostwrite for Velvet Lace Mesh Sweater Halter top, or what?

    1. Oh but you do it so well! Plus I have no idea how you track down those photos. (But if I ever find a great one, you can be sure I’ll send it your way.) And YES, THAT SHIRT IS WORTH CRYING OVER.

      1. I could probably do a whole tumblr about mulder’s off-duty Season 1 outfits, not to mention the one, single, solitary pair of round wire-frame glasses available from wardrobe for the entire cast

  2. If I tell you that I’ve never seen the X Files can we still be friends? What about if I tell you these posts of yours are seriously making me want to start?! Must. Find. Time. It sounds like the wardrobe alone demands it!

    1. Of COURSE we can still be friends. I hadn’t seen it prior to a few weeks ago, and people somehow forgave me for that. BUT DO START IT, YES. JOIN ME! It’s Bones with aliens and 90s fashion. You cannot go wrong.

      1. It’s so, so much better than Bones…and I love Bones! It might just be the be the greatest love story ever told.


    Also I didn’t get what the map was supposed to be a metaphor because I’m bad at metaphors. Is it supposed to be Mulder’s emotional stability? (It seems my jokes don’t carry well in writing)

    I forgot to mention that I seriously love the title of this group of articles. I’m new to this, is that what they’re called? Is it posts?

    Anyway, I have amended my previous plan and am going to sleep now.

  4. One more thing. About wanting to watch the whole series straight through, the EXACT SAME THING happened to me. I call it the X-Files effect. I burned through the series at an astonishing speed. It’s like crack. Adorable, heartbreaking crack.

  5. I haven’t seen the show since it went off the air, so some of these eps are 20 years out for me and I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details, but the hand on the small of the back thing – yes! It happens many times! And the British Plot Device! Again, fuzzy on the details but Scully didn’t like her and neither did I. Beginning to think I need to get the DVDs and reacquaint myself. But there is the problem of adding more hours to my day. Maybe if I quit my job?

  6. Thank you so much for these posts.
    When I first watched The X Files I was in my early teens. Far too impressionable.
    I need you to understand that when S2 came out my family did not have satellite television.
    I had to rely on a dubious friend of my mother’s by the name of Bob to record the episodes for me.
    And sometimes…
    He forgot.
    I cried and I cried and I cried. My parents were helpless. Nobody understood.
    I’ve watched the series many times since. It’s soul comfort to me.
    But this time, 20 years on, I found your blog.
    It has healed my very heart :0)
    I am praying that by S9 you will have picked up on the Scully/Doggett/Reyes love triangle.
    I was at university by then and living for the moments when those three should have made out.
    I will read on.

    Genderbender “I know what I saw, Scully and I saw you about to do THE WILD THING with some stranger.”

    1. Oh thank YOU! That is so sweet. I love hearing everyone’s X-Files stories; I would have cried too!! I wish I’d watched the first time around, but I’m so glad to be here now.
      And hahahaha I have such a soft spot for Scully’s chemistry with Doggett and Reyes. Don’t know if I’d go so far as to call it a love triangle, but I love that tension.

      “THE WILD THING.” Oh Mulder.

  7. Kelly, this is my dream job too! What could we do to make it happen? ☺ Also, British Plot Device. That really made laugh! Wasn’t Scully totally jealous by the way?

      1. Totally. Her protective side is one of her best traits. I love how protective she is of Mulder – in fact, I love how fierce she gets when it comes to those she loves. And I love how fierce Mulder gets when it comes to protecting Scully. Those moments still make my heart melt over and over again, because that’s true love! Sighhh! I’ve been a fan of the show for 20 years (so proud that people still love it so much today!). But yea, as I’m sure you can tell, emotionally ruined for life.

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