Times Mulder and Scully Should Have Made Out This Week, Volume 6

I need to take a month off from all other responsibilities and ONLY WATCH THIS SHOW. I’d finish it in a week and use the rest of the time to consider my feelings.

Times Mulder and Scully should have made out in this week’s batch of episodes:

“The List”

  • Mulder is touching the small of her back again.
  • He follows Scully in a heartbeat when she’s ready to get out of that prison.
  • “Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who’d caused you to suffer. Who would they be?”

x files the list scully only get five

How Scully would group her victims, basically.

Scully grouping her victims

Now they're flirting about the fact that she's a little bit scary.

Now they’re flirting about how terrifying she is.


  • DETECTIVE: “Look I’m not being sexist here, I’m just being honest.” SCULLY:
Scully quietly adds sexist detective to her list of more than five people.

Quietly adds sexist detective to her list of more than five people.

  • Now they’re shutting the detective out of their investigation, because Scully definitely told Mulder about the creep who didn’t think she was capable of conducting an autopsy.
  • “It’s not yet the finely detailed insanity that you’ve come to expect from me.” Insanity has never been so smooth.

x files mulder scully 2shy

“The Walk”

  • “Ask him to make himself available. Tell him that it’s our protocol.” Scully takes that officer down, and Mulder is right behind her, daring anyone to challenge his partner.

x files the walk mulder

  • “Find anything?” “No, but I’m really beginning to like the tune.” You precious dork.
  • He calls her Scull. All hands on deck.


  • “That’s spooky.”
Precious dork strikes again.

Precious dork strikes again.

  • “Mulder, whatever there was between them, you were part of that connection. Did you think about that?” After challenging Mulder for most of this case, Scully is there to reassure him that not only was he right to watch out for Lucy, but that he made a difference. Mulder doesn’t get a lot of people telling him that he’s part of something good.


  • Scully teases Mulder about his usual entertainment. I’m pretty sure she’s made this joke twelve times already. Mulder doesn’t care because she’s just SO CUTE. It’s EXCITING.
x files nisei usual entertainment

Check your face.

  • “But you’re fine, aren’t you Scully?”


  • “Believing’s the easy part, Mulder. I just need more than you. I need proof.” “You think believing is easy?”

x files scully believing easy nisei

  • “Where did you get this?” “From someone like you who wants proof. Who’s also willing to believe.”
"You're Gonna Make It After All" plays in the background.

“So Close” plays in the background.


  • He looks like he thought he’d never hear Scully’s voice again.
x files 731 scully phone

Don’t even look at me.

  • Scully finds out that Mulder is locked in the train car with a bomb and responds with, “Well then, we’ve got to get you out of there.” Dana Scully is cooler than all of us.

x files scully phone 731

  • “Scully, let me tell you, you haven’t seen America ’til you’ve seen it from a train.”
  • I love their last phone conversation, because she’s so excited to have found a way to save his life, but she isn’t taking anything for granted until he’s out. I just really love how calm she is whenever a clock is ticking.

x files scully 731

  • “I want them held accountable for what DID happen. I want an apology for the truth.” Scully and Mulder might disagree when it comes to belief and proof, but truth is something they can share, and they both want it to be better than it is.


  • I need to stop falling for characters who like to lick things they don’t understand.

x files revelations too much sugar

  • “You never draw my bath.”

Scully pouts about only being able to kill five people. Mulder pouts about baths.

  • He puts on her coat like it’s a shock blanket, and she takes it like they’re a 75-year-old married couple.

x files scully coat revelations

“War of the Coprophages”

  • SCULLY: (science science science science) MULDER: “Scully, what are you wearing?”

x files scully what are you wearing

  • “I’m not gonna ask if you just said what I think you just said, because I know it’s what you just said.” Bless.
  • “Who was that?” “My drug dealer.”
  • Scully answers the phone with “Who died now?” without even looking up from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

x files scully who died now

  • Now she’s eating ice cream from the carton while doing research. Scully is a light in my life.

scully ice cream x files

  •  She’s HOLDING THE PHONE IN BED waiting for him to call, and the first words out of her mouth are, “Mulder, are you okay?”

x files scully bed phone

  • You can actually see the moment at which she realizes she’ll be leaving the house tonight.
"Her name is Bambi?"

“Her name is Bambi?”

  • “Yeah I had a praying mantis epiphany.”
  • “Mulder, are you sure it wasn’t a girly scream?”
  • “This is no place for an entomologist.”
Badass bitch.


  • He’s nudging her about manure jokes because they’re mature adults.

x files mulder nudge

  • “Smart is sexy.”
You know it, Scully.

Speaking from experience.

  • I love this episode because they’re very much those needy best friends who call each other at 3 am just because.


  • The sass face is strong in this one.

x files scully sass syzygy

  • Scully is 200% done with your nonsense.
"I know how much you like snapping on the latex."

“I know how much you like snapping on the latex.”

  • Only Mulder can bicker with Scully while sniffing her.
Once more for science.

“I find your conduct and comportment in this investigation not just alarming, but highly objectionable..WHAT ARE YOU DOING”

  • “I just wasn’t sure your little feet could reach the pedals.”
  • It’s after midnight and they’re immediately back on the same page and speaking in perfect unison.

x files put gun down


  • Patterson tells Mulder that he keeps strange company, and Mulder calls him mean spirited, because nobody talks that way about Scully.
  • When Mulder dismisses Patterson’s theory that you have to become a monster in order to catch one, Scully gives him this split-second look of total admiration.

x files grotesque monster scully

  • Do not cross Mulder. Scully will end you.

x files scully grotesque

  • Skinner is worried about Mulder and wants to talk to Scully about it, off the record. I want these three to go on more adventures.
  • “We’re gonna work this out together, okay?”
  • He’s being framed by a gargoyle and Mulder is still so smooth right now.

x files mulder scully grotesque

“Piper Maru”

  • Mulder can tell that something is wrong with Scully. He doesn’t pry. He just gives her a second.

x files piper maru mulder worried

  • Scully just came from a meeting where she learned that the FBI is, at best, indifferent to her sister’s murder. At worst, they’re actively impeding the investigation. And now here’s Mulder fighting so hard to get to the bottom of absolutely every case he can find.
x files piper maru scully amazed

“I’m just constantly amazed by you.”

  • “You’re working down here in the basement, sifting through files and transmissions that any other agent would just throw in the garbage.”
With anyone else, he'd have to get defensive. But Scully is actually complimenting him, and he knows she's with him in this, so

He’s so used to being overlooked and ignored, but Scully SEES him, and she sees why the rest of the FBI would rather pretend not to.

  • “You’re in the basement because they’re afraid of you. Of your relentlessness.”

Scully's using her intimate voice.



  • “Well, maybe not a shovel.”

x files piper maru backhoe

  • Mulder’s like, Great, I’m glad you like me, because there is some garbage in San Diego that you HAVE to see.

x files piper maru garbage mulder

  • Did not say all of those nice things because I wanted a plane ticket to a pile of garbage, Mulder.
She's actually fanning herself.

She’s actually fanning herself.

  • She identifies the sunken plane as a North American P-51 Mustang.
Oh the compliment about your relentlessness didn't do it, but the plane did.

Oh, the compliment about your relentlessness didn’t do it, but the plane did.


  • I need a minute to deal with Scully holding Skinner’s hand and being really protective of him.
  • “Guess I’m not dead.”

x files scully mulder not dead

  • “It looked great on me in the store.”
Still glad I'm not dead, Scully?

Still glad I’m not dead?

  • He brings flowers to visit her at her sister’s grave. Send help.

x files apocrypha scully grave


  • Casual cheek touching while she drools on his shoulder.

x files pusher cheek drooling

  • Scully snuggles up close to share the phone.

x files phone pusher

  • “Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy.”
  • She backs Mulder’s theory, and he looks so pleased.
  • “Smile, Scully.”
She cares SO much. She can't even pretend to smile when he's putting himself in this much danger. And he HAS to smile for the same reason.

Scully can’t even pretend to smile when Mulder is putting himself in this much danger. And he HAS to smile for the same reason.

This feels like an emotional wedding to me.

This feels like an emotional wedding to me.

  • Scully’s in boss mode leading the charge to rescue Mulder.
  • When Modell wills Mulder into risking his own life, Scully loses it. The woman can stay perfectly calm as long as possible to save Mulder, but the minute someone breaks that stalemate, she’s done.

x files pusher dammit bastard

  • Mulder trains the gun on Scully, and she looks so hurt—not hurt by Mulder, but hurt that someone would do this to them.
x files pusher mulder fight him


  • He couldn’t even fight Modell’s manipulation to save his own life, but he can fight it to save Scully’s. The way he whispers her name breaks me.

x files pusher run scully

  • More hands.

x files scully mulder hand holding pusher

“I say we don’t let him take up another minute of our time.”

“Teso dos Bichos”

  • “The cat ate a rat.” “The dog ate the cat.”
Okay, Dr. Seuss.

Okay, Dr. Seuss.

  • “Go with it Scully.”

I’m coming for you, season four.


    1. Thanks so much! I’ve seen the gag reels for seasons one and two; I’m holding off on three until I’ve seen the whole season. But I love bloopers, and these have been delightful.

  1. I have been watching these two for the better part of 15 years, and I’m still taking time to consider my feelings. Once they get you…you’re never quite the same. In the best possible way of course.

    Season 3 bloopers are indeed delightful…a treat to savour. Thank you again!

  2. I recently re-watched the whole series for the first time in over a decade and discovered your blog a couple weeks later. I just wanted to say that I love your insight and find myself giggling like a little girl reading them! And I think we could be friends. (In a completely un-creepy way 🙂 ) Anyway, I look forward to the next edition!

  3. I would help attack all the people on Scully’s list. Scully is awesome and wouldn’t need the help, but I’d do it anyway. I probably would just get in the way by hitting them with a book repeatedly. Or The X-Files box set. And I need to work on my violent tendencies.

    The cheek-tap thing is probably one of my favorite things. Like, ever. It’s cool how you freak out over their relationship while having a deep insight into it. Am I being weird? I’m bad at internet etiquette. Or etiquette in general.

  4. War of the Cophrages – it only took the mention of a woman named Bambi to get Scully to drop everything and rush to Mulder’s side. Still a little creeped out by that moving wall of roaches. And smart IS sexy.

    Grotesque. This ep scared the bejeesus out of me.

    Pusher. Fabulous ep. I remember seeing an interview with Gillian while the show was still on, where she said that holding hands on her series had the same emotional impact as making love would on some other series. When Scully grasped Mulder’s fingers at the end of Pusher and he held on, I felt that down in my nether regions. And the cheek tap did something to me too.

    1. I really love War of the Coprophages. It’s FUN, start to finish–and the look on Scully’s face when she can’t get over the name “Bambi” is great. You can actually see her coming to terms with the fact that she’s going to have to drive up there after all.

      Grotesque is so dark and atmospheric; it’s really cool. And it’s one of those classic “Scully worries about Mulder but still defends his right to keep going” stories, which I always enjoy.

      And Pusher! It’s the perfect combination of shippy and suspenseful. Everything they do with their hands is like a vow to each other. That dopey smile on his face when he’s trying to cheer her up before he goes in? That’s so Mulder. Vince Gilligan just gets it. He gets them on every level.

      1. And I forgot to mention one of my favorite lines ever…”Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy.”

  5. Mulder wakes Scully up a couple times during the series with the cheek tap. Love it. So gentle & sweet & different. I’ve never seen anyone wake someone up like that in real life or TV. If anyone wonders if the touches were scripted, watch the full Paley interview with Gillian Anderson & David Duchovny. Apparently, they were not.

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