I was ready to watch Gillian Anderson earn her Emmy, but I was not prepared to watch Gillian Anderson earn her Emmy.
Times Mulder and Scully should have made out in this week’s batch of episodes:
- He’s so cute when she’s not looking.
- He’s so cute when she’s looking.
- These two are always excited to learn new things about each other. “You took German in high school, Scully?”
- Scully’s knocked out in the back of a van, but that won’t stop Mulder from yelling her name as he runs with everything he has.
- He yells her name again when he realizes that she’s being held in the trailer, and she yells his back. I like the way they yell each other’s names like mission statements.
“The Field Where I Died”
- Questions are best asked while touching noses.
- Even with the theory that he and Melissa were lovers in another life, Mulder talks about souls coming back together only when he talks about Scully.
- THEY’RE FRIENDS IN ALL LIVES.
- Friends with no concept of personal space.
- Mulder is having a moment and Scully is like Yes but the BUNKER.
- I like that this episode doesn’t attribute Mulder and Scully’s entire relationship to fate. They’re connected, but everything beyond that—all of this love between them—that’s all them. It’s their choice. Mulder needs to hear from Scully that their relationship can stand on its own. It’s all been worth it, and it all would have happened anyway. “I wouldn’t change a day.”
- “Mulder, if you want to connect the dots here, you should look at the facts.” He’s literally connecting dots. That’s the best wordplay. Four for you, Scully.
- He looks like a little kid pulling petals from a flower and trying to figure out if she likes him.
- Mulder spends the whole episode checking himself out in the mirror. Scully doesn’t need to worry. She knows she’s flawless.
- They’re tired and sitting on a bed together. What an opportunity.
- “Everyone wants to be beautiful.”
“Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man”
- We get to hear Scully knock on Mulder’s door for the first time all over again, ranked right up there with the important moments in history, as it should be.
- Should we talk about the fact that this automatic door won’t open for Scully, so she calls for Mulder? As soon as he joins her, the door opens. The door will only accept Mulder and Scully as a team. The door ships it.
- “I think what Alex Krycek has given us is the pivotal piece to an even larger plot.” “What he’s given us, Mulder, is a rock.” That’s the show.
- “What I’m worried about is you, Mulder. How far you’ll go. And how far I can follow you.”
- Scully would rather be held in contempt than put Mulder in danger.
- She’s not inclined to follow her own judgment in this case, so she’s going to follow Mulder’s. Scully knows Mulder’s instinct well enough to adopt it as her own.
- The world just slowed down.
- Scully beelines for him the minute they go to recess.
- “I get to put my arms around you. Both of them.” She doesn’t find that a weird thing for him to say. Doesn’t even question it.
- Here we are again with the full-speed running and calling out to each other.
- “Why is this so hard to believe?” Mulder has Scully’s back in that courtroom, just as she had his. He stands behind her like he would dare anyone to challenge them.
- “You said it yourself once. You said that a dream is an answer to a question we haven’t learned how to ask.” And Scully remembered, word for word.
- Well, this is hot.
- Scully thinks that Mulder made a bad call but still defends his theory, as well as his right to finish the case.
- She doesn’t want him to unearth the body himself, but as soon as he asks for her help, Scully digs in right beside him. What we’re seeing here is a pattern in which Scully doesn’t want Mulder to do the thing, but if he’s going to do the thing, she might as well lend him a hand. That’s a partnership.
- Do not mess with Mulder on Scully’s watch.
- “I would hope that you’d appreciate the uniqueness of this situation and its effect on Agent Mulder.”
- “We’ll find her.” “How?” “I don’t know. But I do know you.” She loves his work ethic, you guys.
- The fact that Mulder is always sleep deprived makes so much sense to me.
“El Mundo Gira”
- Chupacabra sass face.
- Scully, dejected, sings West Side Story lyrics under her breath.
- She’s really questioning her life in this episode.
- “Scully, I’ve been thinking. I know that’s dangerous, but bear with me.”
- What can he say, he is but a puppy.
- Mulder is so proud of that paperweight joke.
- “Are we happy with the results?” We. Like they’re a married couple.
- I knew that the cancer arc was on its way, but I thought this episode existed to gently introduce cancer to the conversation, not stab us through the heart out of nowhere. “I’M SORRY, BUT YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING I NEED.”
- “You did a good job, Scully.”
- It’s like Scully’s looking at Mulder’s office for the first time.
- “Okay, so we’ll have them send down another desk, and there won’t be any room to move around here, but we can put them really close together face to face. Maybe we can play some Battleship.” Mulder’s thought about it. Mulder’s probably written fanfiction about it.
- “This work is my life.” “And it’s become mine.”
- He looks gutted when she questions whether she wants to do this job.
- “I checked where we always stay in Philadelphia. I knew you wouldn’t abandon me.” There’s lots of faith between these two.
- I can’t get over his precious face and terrible floppy hair as he runs for that phone.
- “Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.” OWN IT, SCULLY. And while you’re at it, you get that desk.
- “That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago, and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions, if not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you.”
- Scully’s journal entries to Mulder are gorgeous, and I could unpack them forever. She’s never been this vulnerable before, but she trusts—at least before she hesitates to show him—that the foundation of it all is so obvious that she doesn’t even need to say it. She doesn’t need to tell him how much he means to her, because he knows her heart. He’s shared her most important experiences, even though they haven’t known each other that long. That’s what she regrets the most: not having more time with him. It’s just unquestioned that if she could have that time, she’d spend it with Mulder.
- HE BROUGHT HER FLOWERS.
- Mulder can believe anything, except the fact that Scully has cancer. He can’t consider the possibility of life without her.
- “You’re the only one I’ve called.”
- Mulder lets her compartmentalize a little. When she doesn’t know how to meet with Penny as a fellow cancer patient, he suggests that she meet with her as an investigator. He even calls her Agent Scully.
- He’s so good at being calm and sweet on the phone with her, but the minute he hangs up and he slams that file cabinet, we see how out of control Mulder feels.
- “And if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention—something you might have done. And though we have traveled far together, this last distance must necessarily be traveled alone.” Scully is dying, and her thought is of what it will do to Mulder.
- “Mulder, I feel you close though I know you are now pursuing your own path. For that I am grateful—more than I could ever express. I need to know you are out there if I am ever to see through this.”
- He’s scared when he can’t find her. That’s how he puts it. “I got scared that something had happened.” Like he’s a kid.
- “Come on back.”
- The smiles are because they get to keep working together. They both want to hold on to this one steady thing in their lives for as long as possible. But the eyes they’re making say that they’re just grateful to have each other, at work or not.
- I know David and Gillian improvised a kiss here, and I love them for it. But this forehead kiss is so tender on its own that I wouldn’t want it to get overshadowed. It’s so protective. He’s watching over her, and for once in her life, Scully’s going to need that.
- You sniffing Scully’s hair there, Mulder?
- He’s touching the small of her back again.
- “Or, it’s just a clever story being proffered as a cover up for what is actually an elaborately orchestrated conspiracy.” “There is that possibility too.”
- She’s so uncomfortable with all of this birthday attention, but then she looks at him and kind of loves it.
- “Special Agent Dana Katherine Scullyyyyyyyy.” He has to sing her full name, partially to mess with her, but also to remind her that he knows her better than everyone else in this bar.
- Mulder thinks he can keep this casual as long as he sticks to giving gifts like an Apollo 11 keychain or Superstars of the Superbowls.
- “Do you remember the last time you were missing nine minutes?”
- Mulder strips in front of Scully like it’s nothing.
- “I think that you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals. That what can be imagined can be achieved. That you must dare to dream, but that there’s no substitute for perseverance and hard work. And teamwork, because no one gets there alone. And while we commemorate the greatness of these events and the individuals who achieved them, we cannot forget the sacrifice of those who make these achievements and leaps possible.”
- “I just thought it was a pretty cool keychain.”
- Desk gazing.
- Exactly how much of Scully’s graduate thesis does Mulder have memorized?
- “Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MDs do it.” Scully’s a medical doctor.
- They’re mistaken for a couple, naturally.
- Scully has a Mulder theory!
- If Scully could be someone else for a day, she’d hopefully be herself. We don’t deserve her.
- “Can’t be a dead person.” “Why the hell not?”
- Scully likes that Mulder brought her wine and asked about her life.
- She’s not pushing him away when he goes in for a kiss, either.
- Gillian’s Emmy lives in that second pull back.
- “I don’t imagine you need to be told this, Mulder, but you’re not a loser.”
- “Yeah, but I’m no Eddie Van Blundht either, am I?” He wants to be that bold.
- When Mulder says that Scully is in the hospital, there’s this cavern of fear in his eyes. He looks completely alone, staring at this everyday reality that he’s not ready for.
- Mulder is a show off, and that is all right.
- It’s been important to Scully that she keep working, and the first reason she can think to give is Mulder. He’s been supportive. She doesn’t feel that she owes him; she just genuinely wants to work with him.
- “I guess I never realized how much I rely on him before this. His passion. He’s been a great source of strength that I’ve drawn on.”
- She’s afraid of failing Mulder in her cancer battle. Her concern is for him before it’s for herself.
- “You can believe what you want to believe, Scully. But you can’t hide the truth from me, because if you do, then you’re working against me. And yourself. I know what you’re afraid of. I’m afraid of the same thing.”
- Mulder calls Scully as soon as he realizes that something is wrong. Good boy, Mulder.
- Scully’s like one of those women in Renaissance paintings who stare directly at angels.
- I can’t tell you how much I love that she can pull Mulder out of the shower and wrap him in a towel and blanket without making a big deal out of anything other than his health.
- Guiding his face toward hers.
- White t-shirt, I’ve missed you.
- “Mulder, I refuse to believe that you had any part in this.”
- Mulder studies Scully’s face as she insists that she’ll fight for his innocence, like he’s wondering who this little hurricane is and what he did to deserve her.
- The doctor won’t talk, so Scully makes him talk. Don’t mess with Scully when she’s up against people who risk Mulder’s life.
- “Is that how much this means to you?”
- Mulder breaks down, and Scully lets him know that she still trusts him enough to lean on him.
- All of my notes for this episode are followed by a minimum of nine question marks.
- What kind of con are they playing? Scully has to be in on it; she wouldn’t really debunk Mulder’s life work, no matter how annoying he’s being. (Also she wouldn’t debunk him after he’s dead. She has to know that he’s not dead. But that would make Scully a really good actress. Unless she’s upset about something ELSE?) And she wouldn’t keep her cancer prognosis to herself. RIGHT?? (Don’t answer any of this. Just know that if I had any sick days to spare, I’d be using one today.)
- Scully leaves her family dinner for Mulder.
- North Face modeling contract is back.
- She’s still “responsible to what’s important” to her. That would be Mulder.
- If someone’s using Scully’s life to manipulate Mulder and drive a wedge between him and Scully, I hope they realize how well that’s gone in the past.
- Tears all around.
I can’t stand leaving them like this. I can’t stand leaving them EVER. Should I maybe get some sleep? No.