I’m at the point where I need to put together a Mulder/Scully playlist, but I can’t, because if I start thinking about which songs fit their relationship, I won’t be able to resist the fan videos. If you give a mouse a cookie, she’s going to end up YouTubing spoilers until 4 am.
Times Mulder and Scully should have made out in this week’s batch of episodes:
- Mulder would much rather fight monsters with Scully than take a vacation without her.
- “Are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?”
- So much pent-up energy.
- SCULLY: (magic magic magic magic magic)
- I feel this.
- “I thought you weren’t answering your cell phone.” “Then why’d you call?” Because we’re all just ships in the night searching for some hint of a connection with the ones we love, Scully.
- “It’s amazing what I can accomplish without incessant meddling or questioning into everything I do.”
- Mulder researches old diseases and Scully looks into supernatural literature. Scully figures the doll can control people and Mulder just figures it has a string in its back. They complete each other so much that when they’re apart, they become each other rather than lose that part of themselves.
- She can’t even tell him that she played his role in this investigation, because that would mean admitting how much he’s changed her.
- Just two professionals sitting in this car alone at night listening to romantic music.
- Drop everything and move to the country and stand there in the early morning sunlight looking FINE.
- “Are you gonna take off these cuffs, or do I have to do this with my tongue?” “You don’t want to take a vote.”
- Mulder calls Scully his doctor. YEAH she is.
- He only realizes that something is off when she tries to force information out of him. She can kick as many people as she wants. That’s normal.
- Scully is so tender with Mulder when she finds him, and she looks so genuinely upset to see him like this. He’s been closer to death before, but the thought of him becoming part of a computer, when everything he does is so human, is especially hard for her.
- She channels that care into lots of touching.
- THE WHOLE EPISODE.
- “Oh, sh—”
- “I didn’t do the—with the thing.”
- Does Mulder always sound like an auctioneer in Scully’s head? Because it’s great.
- “Come on Scully. Get those little legs moving.”
- These are not theory fingers.
- “Go ahead. DANA.”
- “What am I even looking for?”
- Never leave that bed, Scully.
- Seduction via Shaft theme.
- Mulder in Scully’s head is exasperating, but still adorable.
- Scully in her own head is 200% done with everything.
- Mulder in his own head is generous and patient, and still adorable.
- Scully in Mulder’s head is also 200% done with everything; she’s just a little worse at coping with it. I love that while they should be getting to the bottom of whether or not the kid was actually a vampire, they spend most of their time debating how well they each handled the situation. Because they’re a bickering married couple.
- Mulder’s not jealous at all.
- “I do it all for you, Mulder!”
- “Don’t you touch that bed.”
- BE MORE MARRIED.
- Of course he takes her advice.
- “He was dead.” “I noticed that.” “With a stake through his heart.” “I noticed that too.”
- “Don’t say I never did nothing for ye.”
- Mulder doesn’t have to say anything; Scully knows that he needs to be sure that she’s okay, and she just lets him do his thing (plus, neck touching).
- “That is essentially exactly the way it happened.”
- Mulder’s faith was so shaken by Scully’s cancer.
- He looks at her like she’s his constant.
- Scully takes this all so personally, because what is Mulder without his belief that the truth is out there, and how could he expand her worldview only to shrink his? They have to live in the same size world and make a home there.
“The Red and the Black”
- Mulder’s so single minded looking for Scully that things literally move in slow motion.
- This will be my cause of death one day.
- Before she realizes that she’s in the hospital, Scully feels Mulder standing over her and brushing the hair out of her face, and the only thing she questions is what time it is. SO THAT HAPPENS WEEKLY PROBABLY.
- “I’m just very happy to be standing here talking to you.”
- He’s still furious that this happened to Scully, and he always will be.
- “The truth I’ve been searching for?”
- “I didn’t believe you, but I followed you, on nothing more than your faith that the truth was out there.”
- She doesn’t even know where she is, but she reaches out for him.
- This is such a vulnerable moment for Scully, and I’m really into how still Mulder is through it all. He respects what Scully is going through. He gives her what she needs, and then he holds steady.
- That close encounter sounds like something that the two of them will role play someday.
- “Mulder, what are you doing sitting here in the dark?” Scully, I want you to think long and hard about whether you’ve ever seen him do anything else.
- “Destiny, fate, how to throw a curveball. The inextricable relationships in our lives that are neither accidental nor somehow in our control either.” Scully and Mulder, forever destined to ask these questions together, but always sure that they would choose to ask them together anyway.
- Case in point: The last time she grabbed his hand, she barely even knew what she was doing. This time, it’s entirely deliberate. You could sum up their entire relationship by looking at all of the different ways they hold hands. Tell me someone has written a thesis on this.
- Think how much fun Scully would have running her hands through Mulder’s flashback hair.
- “I think she just wants us to know she’s strong and independent. It’s important to her.” Sounds like someone Mulder already knows and admires.
- “Well how else did she see? Bat vision?”
- Scully threw a doll in a microwave a few weeks ago, so it’s about time for Mulder to get called skeptical.
- She’s not even working an FBI case, but Scully still likes conferring with Mulder. She says that he tempers her feelings and keeps them from clouding her judgment. He’s her skeptic on this. She knows how important that is, because she knows that he needs her for the same reason.
- “Scully, aren’t you the secret squirrel?”
- All she has to do is mention Emily, and he drops the snark and the tough love and is right there with her. He questions the facts of the case, but never her feelings on it.
- Pause to throw awards at Gillian Anderson.
“The Pine Bluff Variant”
- Mulder’s in trouble, gotta go.
- This cover story is in no way influenced by Scully’s fantasies.
- She pursues her suspicions on her own, but she won’t voice them to anyone who could actually get Mulder in trouble. Not until she’s sure.
- “You’ve put Agent Mulder’s life in danger by not telling me.” Don’t you know we tell each other everything??
- Scully is not happy that Mulder is being put at risk.
- “This has to be set. You’re in pain.” “Well, if you keep pulling it around like that.” They can’t even stop needling each other for two seconds.
- Scully recognized Mulder FROM HIS FINGER, which means that her persistent care for him saved countless lives, as it does every day, because she’s Dana Scully.
“Folie a Deux”
- “You’re saying I a lot. I heard we.”
- Is this Scully’s first “I told you so”?
- Maybe holding Mulder’s hand can bring him back from this delusion. Maybe it can’t. Either way, she’s holding his hand. Don’t even look at me.
- Everyone is discrediting him, and he’s still cracking jokes at his own expense, because it’s been like this for his entire life.
- “Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will.”
- She listens to him. She takes being his only hope seriously, and she follows his hunch.
- “A madness shared by two.” That sums it up.
- I like to think that one day after Mulder proposed an especially out there theory, Scully grabbed a pen and scribbled something on a Post-It note. Mulder leaned over her shoulder and badgered her to tell him what she was doing, but she just walked over to his poster and slapped “YOU ARE HERE” on the UFO and left without a word.
- The X-files are his long-term plan. Mulder isn’t in this because he wants to go places at the Bureau. He just wants to find the truth and help people.
- After being told that he has a dirty mind, Mulder looks to Scully, who doesn’t seem bothered.
- “One of them’s thinking about you.”
- Scully steps toward Mulder a lot in this episode, like she needs to know that his personal space is still hers.
- “She’s a scientist. She just makes me work for everything.” And it has to be that way. Diana just clarifies what we already knew: Mulder doesn’t need another Mulder. Someone who already believes his theories would be of absolutely no use to him. In the “Inside The X-Files” special, David Duchovny says that Scully is Mulder’s human credential. She sets his feet on the ground, and her respect for him makes others believe that he’s worthy of that respect. Nothing he does would matter without her integrity as an investigator, a scientist, and a human being. Mulder needs Scully, and no one else.
- He knows it, too. When Diana says that he would have benefited from a like-minded partner, he hesitates.
- Scully’s concerned about Mulder’s relationship with Diana. She doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, but she cares what Diana thinks, because she needs to know where she stands.
- She doesn’t want to interrupt Mulder in the middle of a conversation with Diana. She wants to pull him away from that conversation and back to their office—their space. Get it, Scully.
- Scully’s just hanging at Mulder’s apartment while he sleeps.
- I had my hands on my mouth as their office burned. Mulder’s life work and his long-term plan are gone, and with them, the space where he and Scully took their stand.
- He can’t even think. Scully has to make the first move again. She needs the hug, and he needs it too. Also I think I need a hug?
And so season five ends as it began: determined to destroy me. The movie deserves its own post, so that’s coming on Wednesday. Until then!