Times Mulder and Scully Should Have Made Out This Week, Volume 19

I watched the last four of these back to back, and it was the most destructive decision I’ve ever made in my life.

Times Mulder and Scully should have made out in this week’s batch of episodes:


  • I love it when people introduce Scully as a medical doctor.
  • She has such a scientific answer for what she investigates. “Deaths for which there may be many explanations or for which an explanation may be hard to find.” I’m so proud. She’s owning the work her way. It’s Mulder in Scully terms.
  • “I’m just a good shot.”
Baby goat is so humble.

The most humble of all the baby goats.

  • Scully won’t be joining everyone in the tunnels; she won’t say why, but it’s the baby. She’s always thinking about her baby. She’s such a good mom already, and she has endlessly stubborn respect for her relationship with Mulder, and for the things she should really tell him first.

xfiles medusa scully not going in

  • “I’m just a tag-along here. This is your thing. You’ve got all the experience.” Sometimes Doggett’s humility is also insecurity, because he still hasn’t found his place, and it makes me sad for him. It’s also a reminder of how unlikely and perfect and wonderful it was that Scully found her place when she was in the same position. The work wasn’t her mission for a long time (no desk still not over it), but unlike Doggett, she had Mulder. When the work wasn’t her home, he was.
  • I also like the idea that Scully is where she is now because of experience. Her willingness to believe is written as the product of her WORK: the actual hard gritty stuff. The years she spent with Mulder are her credentials.
  • “We got you every step of the way.” I keep thinking of Duane Barry, when Scully flew to Mulder in order to be the voice in his head. Now, instead of flying to Doggett, she guides him by stepping back from him, but in each case, she’s so very good at being the steady voice of reason.
xfiles medusa scully every step

“Like a songbird.”

  • So basically what I’m getting from this is that the Big Dig was an X-file, and taking the T is like speeding blindly into a pool of electric chemicals while Bob Kelso yells at you.

xfiles medusa scully uhhh okay

  • “I’m gonna need some data.” “AGENT SCULLY NEEDS SOME DATA.”
  • Doggett is so baffled by Scully’s ability to tackle these cases, and he’s so loyal to her for that same reason.
  • “You are being irrational here.”
xfiles medusa scully irrational

And you can dump yourself in the harbor.

  • Is this the first time she’s called Doggett her partner when he’s not around? Because I’m pretty sure the minute you declare your intention to fight for someone’s life in his absence, the word “partner” becomes more than an assignment.

xfiles medusa scully doggett partner

  • “I’m looking for an FBI Agent Dana Scully. Do you know where I can find him?” “No. Yes. I mean, I’m she.”

arrested development won't respond to it

  • “I started fearing the worst.” She’s relieved, but she’s not Mulder I told your mother that you were going to be okay relieved.  Doggett is her partner, but he’s not her PARTNER. With Mulder, Scully would have been in that tunnel in a heartbeat.
  • Doggett likes baths. He’s totally in this club.

xfiles medusa doggett herosim

  • Now Scully really is relieved.
xfiles medusa scully relieved


  • This is the best moment they’ve ever shared.

xfiles medusa doggett backs up

  • Doggett saved lives, but it came at the cost of proving the crime and convicting the people responsible. Work on the X-files is so intangible. Personal victories are the only ones they have.
  • Scully tells Doggett that these people have him to thank, and he gives the credit back to her. He was just her eyes and ears. He can tell that she feels bad for not going down there with him. Scully looks for a second like she thinks he deserves to know why, but she still can’t say it.
xfiles medusa scully go home

“Let’s go home.”

“Per Manum”

  • This is the saddest episode of anything.
  • I’ve taken like five naps to put off feeling this kind of pain again.
  • Here we go.
  • HELP.
  • No wait sorry I just found some emotionally compromising .gifs and then had to go eat a cookie.
She's feeling everything at once. This should be the happiest miracle, but it just

Even her happiness is painful. Mulder should be here for this.

  • She has to believe that Haskell’s story is preposterous. To accept it as plausible is to admit that it could happen to her, and she can’t do that. Scully is SO afraid of whatever led to this pregnancy. She can’t let herself consider the possibility that her one shred of happiness is just a part of the conspiracy.
  • “That’s your story, Agent Scully … I mean, except for the pregnancy. It’s all right there in the X-files.” It’s awful to think that Scully’s life is on file, that someone can read about it clinically without ever having felt the reality of her abduction or her cancer. Files can’t capture how close she came to the death and how desperately she needed Mulder to pull her back. He found her name on folders and index cards and vials that the Syndicate kept hidden away, but his presence softened it somehow, because he was so indignant to see her broken down into pieces like that. Mulder brought the evidence into the light and used it to save Scully’s life. Without him, the Syndicate wins. She’s a case number at the FBI, and Mulder’s not here to protest it.
  • Scully has to protest on her own. “My personal files are my personal files. Okay?”

xfiles per manum scully my personal files

  • Doggett gets it. He knows as soon as Scully goes all ‘Well thanks for being such a GREAT AGENT’ on him. There’s a lot that Scully values more than going by the book.
xfiles per manum doggett

I’ve made a huge mistake.

  • He accepts right away that he messed up. “Of course.”
  • “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” THE FEELING IS MUTUAL, PUPPY.
He's making that face he made when they found each other in the cornfield, like everything is okay again. He looks at her with such wonder every time.

He’s making that face he made when they found each other in the cornfield. He’s home again. Everything is okay now. They were apart for at MOST three hours, but he genuinely is so lost when he doesn’t know where she is. I hope he knows that it’s the same for her.

  • Remember when Scully smiled all the time? She couldn’t help it. Just being with Mulder made her feel better.

xfiles per manum scully elevator smile

  • He gets worried when Scully talks about doctors. “Is anything the matter?”
He's so focused on her. There is nothing in the world right now but Scully's health.

He’s so focused on her. There is nothing in the world right now but Scully’s health.

  • She tells him that everything’s fine, and he asks what’s wrong.  He knows her. I miss the way he just KNOWS.

xfiles per manum scully elevator doctor

  • “I’m sorry I haven’t told you. I don’t know why I haven’t. I mean, you were always there for me during my illness.” Scully never doubts that she CAN trust Mulder, even with the things she chooses to keep to herself. She hasn’t forgotten the way he supported her. He put her before every quest he ever had, and she understood how significant that was, because she knows him too.
  • “Don’t make me guess.” He smiles, because they both just unconsciously smile at each other all the time and I think I’ll just lie here and let the waves carry me out to sea, but there is absolutely no smile in his voice.
All of Mulder's guesses are bad. You can see it in his eyes.

All of Mulder’s guesses are bad. You can see it in his eyes.

  • “I am not ready to accept that I will never have children.” It’s like if she can just have this one victory, she won’t be a pawn in the game. She wants to be a mom.
  • And now she finds out that even Mulder has been maneuvering behind the scenes of her life.
xfiles per manum mulder elevator door

I’ve missed his sincerity so much.

  • Mulder should have told Scully that he found her ova and had them tested. That’s ENTIRELY hers to know. By keeping it from her, he became a part of this system that takes Scully’s reproductive rights out of her hands. But I do understand that the timing was the absolute worst. “You were deathly ill, and I couldn’t bear to give you another piece of bad news.” It’s interesting that the man who puts truth first couldn’t put it above Scully’s well-being at any point while she had cancer. He wanted to protect her. Again, he went about it wrong, but his instincts are so sweet, and I’ve missed his face, and I already let myself get mad at him for this when they found Emily, so right now I mostly just want him back.
  • Also he’s keeping his brain disease from her. Mulder really doesn’t like to talk about health. How about those Yankees.
  • Scully needs some time, and he respects that.
xfiles per manum scully elevator door

[Mulder wanders the halls like a lost puppy, then reunites with her 45 minutes later and gives her that look again.]

  • Her FACE when she learns that she might be able to have kids after all.


  • “Oh, it’s too good to be true.”
  • “Unless you already have someone in mind?” “Yeah.”
No question.

Scully knows without a doubt that she wants Mulder to be the father of her child, that he completes her, that a kid couldn’t do any better. They’re already a family. Scully chooses Mulder as her one in five billion. She is deeply and comfortably in love with him.

  • Mulder’s looking at the woman who wants to have a kid with him. He wants it too. He makes this face.

xfiles per manum mulder door smile

  • “This sounds really weird, I know, but I—I just wouldn’t want this to come between us.” That’s adorable. He holds their relationship so carefully. His only concern is how sharing a child would shift their dynamic.
  • Mulder can tell that Scully assumes he’s saying no, so he reaches out to draw her back to him, and she responds before he’s even touched her. They just move together.

xfiles per manum mulder scully chin

  • They can take this. And even if somehow they can’t, he still has to do this. He wants to do this.
He's decided that he believes they can take it--and that even if they can't, she

Mulder loves giving Scully good news, and he’s so sheepishly excited to father her child, because of course he is.

  • Scully looks at him like she’s relieved and surprised and not at all surprised at the same time. This is exactly what she believed they were to each other, but what they are to each other continues to amaze her. It’s like there’s nothing more familiar and dependable to Scully than the idea that Mulder will take these incredible leaps with her.

xfiles per manum scully yes eyes

xfiles per manum scully mulder yes hug

NEVER LET GO. (She doesn't want to.)

NEVER LET GO. (She doesn’t want to.)

xfiles per manum mulder hug smile

  • What really gets me, on top of everything else that also gets me, is that Scully doesn’t even say thank you, because she doesn’t have to. She just hugs him, and they’re in this. They don’t keep a balance sheet.
  • This is like Mulder’s version of the look Scully gave him when he said yes: shy but comfy.

xfiles per manum mulder door

  • Mulder is still everywhere for Scully. She sees him in the halls and in the elevator and in her apartment. This episode eases into the past the way she slips into those memories, and then it jolts back to the reality she doesn’t want.


  • “You gotta tell him, Scully.” “I can’t.” She just can’t. It’s theirs. She can’t let go.
Scully's so much more beaten down now than she was with Mulder. You can see her pulling  herself in.

Scully is so much more beaten down now than she was with Mulder, even at her lowest.

  • “If I was putting you at risk in any way, you can be sure that I wouldn’t let you down. I hope you know that.” The nature of risk is that you can’t make guarantees, but it’s so like Scully to try anyway.
  • Is this Doggett’s car? Should we talk about it?

xfiles per manum doggett car

  • Wow, trust NO ONE.

On top of losing Mulder, on top of how hard it was for her to get pregnant and how badly she wanted to, on top of the fear that even her BABY is a lie and a conspiracy, now Scully has to deal with how deep that conspiracy goes. Which not only suggests that she's in one but makes it feel like there's no way out.

  • On top of losing Mulder, on top of how hard it was for her to get pregnant and how badly she wanted to, on top of the fear that even her BABY is a lie and a conspiracy, now Scully has to deal with the fact that there’s absolutely no one who can take that fear away. There’s no way out of this system. Even if no one did anything to her baby, the people who led her here still win, because they’ve made it so that she’ll never believe any good news about her pregnancy. What they haven’t destroyed, they’ve set to self destruct.
  • “Look, this involves doctors: doctors who may have killed pregnant women. Now a hospital could be the worst place in the world for her. Tell me where Scully is.” Baby goat figured it out.

xfiles per manum scully who are you

  • “You’re okay. You’re fine. And your baby’s fine.”
xfiles per manum scully baby's fine

At least we have short-term good news.

  • “We can prove this.” “We can’t prove anything.” Not that Doggett is on board with the alien baby theory, but he knows a conspiracy is at play. Someone is using them and covering it up. Scully’s not being paranoid about that. This is validating.

xfiles per manum scully doggett prove it

  • Doggett sounds like he’s not sure what to believe any more than Scully is. All Scully has is that one cassette, which they could have easily been taping over with her ultrasound, and the alien sound of Ms. Hendershot’s baby before Scully was knocked out. At least part of this story is an illusion, but which part? And but for what purpose? And how is Scully’s baby doing at this very moment?
  • “They say they saved your life. How can I question that, standing here?”
"At least you're okay." He repeats it. Like he's making sure. Awww, Doggett!

“At least you’re okay.” He repeats it. Like he’s making sure.

  • “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I was afraid. Afraid that they’d use it against me to take me off the X-files so that I couldn’t find Mulder.” Everything makes more sense now. Scully wasn’t just keeping quiet out of loyalty to Mulder—she was doing it because she believed it was the only way to save him. The FBI tends to use her personal information against her. She couldn’t take that chance.
  • “I told you I’d help you. I said we’d find him.” Doggett would have kept the secret. He has a sense of how much this means to her, and he wants to help. But Doggett says We, and Scully can’t stop saying I. Remember when Mulder did the same thing to Scully? She has to learn to share her quest just like he did.
  • My only notes for this scene are “COUCH MULDER” because it’s possible I went into some sort of feelings blackout.
Her bed is his bed.

Her bed is his bed.

  • He says Scully’s name the minute she walks in. She’s his only thought. Just like in the elevator, all he has to do is look at her, and he knows.

xfiles per manum mulder it didn't take

xfiles per manum scully hope

  • Mulder shakes his head before he pulls her into a hug, because he LIVES on hope, and he doesn’t want Scully to ever put limits on hers. He won’t let her regret chasing this possibility with him.

xfiles per manum hope mulder

Scully's life is devastating.

Scully’s LIFE, you guys. It hurts.

The forehead kiss is how they promise to fight for each other. The forehead lean is how they promise to be with each other.

The forehead kiss is how they promise to fight for each other. The forehead touch is how they promise to be with each other.

  • The space between them is honestly the most intimate thing about this scene. Every touch is deliberate. They respect that they’re each experiencing this differently, but they’re drawn to each other anyway.
This is the story of how I died.

Who here can paint this on my ceiling?

  • “Never give up on a miracle.” Mulder hopes, always. He never stops, no matter how many times he’s beaten down, because everything he’s seen tells him that anything is possible. Science can pretty much shove it on this one. Scully and Mulder are making that baby. (Tonight.)
She kisses his NECK. I mean.

She kisses his NECK. I mean.

  • And science can pretty much shove it on the search for Mulder, too.

“This Is Not Happening”

  • His nameplate is still at the top of the drawer, which means that every time Scully puts anything in that desk, she picks up Mulder’s name to do it. She won’t let his memory get buried.

xfiles tinh mulder nameplate

  • “She’ll be flying with us.” There’s no way Skinner is leaving Scully out or leaving her alone.
  • Anything that even hints at Mulder’s suffering is enough to make her cry.

xfiles tinh scully hospital crying

  • “What we’ve got is hope. But let’s be honest, Agent Scully, about what no one wants to say. Bad as you want to find Mulder, you’re afraid to find him too.” She’s terrified. Mulder is the one who taught her how to hope like this, and now hope is all she has. What if she’s wrong? It’s like losing Mulder twice.
  • They’re so connected. She’s dreaming about his actual situation.
I liked it better when he came to her framed in stars and scruff and broody black clothing.

I prefer my dream Mulder framed in scruff and stars and broody button-downs, thanks.

  • “What if he’s dead?” SHE SAID IT OUT LOUD. It kills me, but it was about time. She needs someone she can be real with, and I’m so glad she has that in Skinner.

xfiles tinh scully what if hes dead

  • “I once had a talk with Mulder about starlight. How it’s billions of years old: stars that are now long dead whose light is still traveling through time. It won’t die, that light. Maybe that’s the only thing that never does. He said that’s where souls reside. I hope he’s right.”
All I can think of is "Mulder, I had the strength of your beliefs."

All I can think is, “Mulder, I had the strength of your beliefs.”

  • “If you’re trying to prepare yourself, I want you to stop. Nothing says that we’re going to stumble over him in some field. Nothing says he won’t be fine.” I mean, a few things say that. But Skinner knows that Scully could never really prepare herself—if the worst happens, nothing is ever going to make it hurt less—so she might as well stick with hope. Mulder gave that to Skinner like he gave it to Scully.
She's so small.

She’s so small.

  • Hey meet my friend this is my friend do you like her—Doggett
xfiles tinh doggett reyes

Doggett makes exceptions for Reyes like Scully does for Mulder.

  • “If this is about people staging their own abductions…” Mulder would never leave Scully like that, and she knows it.
  • “You believe in extraterrestrials?”
Answer correctly and we get to spend nine seasons and two movies together.

Answer correctly and we get to spend nine seasons and multiple franchise movies together.

  • I’ve only been waiting eight years for Scully to have a female friend.
xfiles tinh scully reyes should talk sometime

“We should talk sometime.”

  • And the pain just keeps coming.
xfiles tinh scully morgue crying

She sees Mulder in every victim, and it’s getting harder to stay positive. Someone wrap her in a blanket.

  • “I don’t know how she’s doing it in there. Everything she’s feeling. What she’s afraid of.” Doggett hurts for Scully. He’s so in awe of her ability to keep going.
  • DOGGETT LOST HIS SON? Baby goat, no. He knows exactly what it means to be afraid of finding someone.
He and Reyes bonded together in tragedy. I ship it.

Doggett and Reyes bonded together in the time of his DEEPEST TRAGEDY. I ship it.

  • Scully is desperate. She doesn’t want to consider the possibility that Mulder would leave by choice, but she follows every avenue. She’s always been strong enough to risk her own beliefs for the sake of the truth. Mulder too.

xfiles tinh scully mulder photo

  • Given her experience, Scully knows when she sees Mulder that it’s probably not a good sign, but she looks SO HOPEFUL anyway.
xfiles tinh scully mulder starlight

He’s pretty even when he’s transparent.

  • Scully has negative amounts of patience for Jeremiah, the man with the power to heal and no urgency to do it. But she still respects his right to stay silent, and Mulder would have done the same.
  • “It’s Mulder.”
xfiles tinh scully its mulder

She can’t even breathe.

  • “How bad is he? HOW BAD IS HE HURT?”She’s clinging to the hope that this is something he can come back from.
The way she strokes his face is so familiar and the circumstances are so terrible and I want to curl up

The way she strokes his face is so familiar, like if she can just make him feel her, he’ll come back.

  • “HE NEEDS HELP.” Scully is FIGHTING THIS. She’s going to storm her way out of this reality and into one where Mulder can be saved, because she needs him. No one gets to stand in her way.
xfiles tinh scully he needs help

Shout out to Doggett because I know he’s only trying to keep her from torturing herself.

  • It’s so important that over Mark Snow’s devastatingly urgent score, we can still hear Scully’s feet as she runs. We can hear the effort she’s taking, and we can hear that she’s alone in it.

xfiles tinh scully run

  • “This is NOT HAPPENING.” Scully watches her last hope vanish before she can reach it, and her legs just give out. She has nothing to stand on anymore. She still can’t believe, even after everything she’s lost, that she lives in a world harsh enough to take Mulder.
xfiles scully this is not happening

This is the story of how I died.


  • My deepest sympathies to everyone who had to wait five weeks before this episode.
  • “And to resolve the deep mysteries Fox Mulder sought so tirelessly to uncover.”
  • Mulder was alone for so much of his life, but look how many people he affected.
xfiles deadalive gunmen funeral

Not Kersch though.

  • Of course Mrs. Scully is there.
Not Kersch; he can suck it.

Scully clutches her belly like the only thing keeping her going is the part of him that she hopes is in her.

  • She doesn’t give her speech to the group. She gives it to Skinner. What she and Mulder had in that basement was private, and her grief isn’t for anyone else: just Scully, Mulder, and the man who defended their right to work.

xfiles deadalive scully skinner

  • “He was the last. His father and mother, his sister… all gone. I think the real tragedy is that for all of his pain and searching, the truth that he worked so hard to find was never truly revealed to him.”

xfiles deadalive scully can't believe i'm standing here

  • The REAL tragedy—the one thing Scully thinks is worse than the fact that she doesn’t get to spend the rest of her life with him—is that Mulder didn’t find everything he was looking for. She wanted him to succeed. Before she believed a word of it, she wanted him to win.
xfiles deadalive scully funeral dirt

She’s the only one who thinks to follow Jewish custom for him. She knows all of the hidden things about Mulder.

  • “I don’t truly believe that Mulder’s the last.” Skinner, you beautiful, bald champion of Scully’s baby.
Make him the godfather, Scully.

Make him the godfather, Scully.

  • Just in case you were worried that Scully hadn’t already spent enough months in pain, it’s been three since she buried the love of her life. Carry on.
  • “Sir, the Assistant Director here deserves more credit than I do.” Humility should be renamed in Doggett’s honor.
  • “Thank you for your support, sir, but all things being equal, I’d like to give any transfer some thought.” Either our baby goat has found his place with the X-files in the last few months, he’s acting out of loyalty to Scully, or he’s come to believe that the FBI is one big power game and the basement is the best place for people who don’t want to play. Maybe a bit of all three.
  • Pregnant Scully literally comes to me in my dreams.

xfiles deadalive pregnant scully

  • “Hey, good morning Agent Scully. How are you feeling today?” “I’m fine. How are you feeling?”
xfiles deadalive scully pregnant how are you feeling

Oh were you just asking because I’m pregnant?

  • Doggett calls the baby “a little J. Edgar” and I’m flashing back to that moment three episodes in when Mulder said that Scully would be head of the bureau by 2023. Everyone in her life knows that anything Scully touches is gold.
  • “Well, whatever he told you, I’m still gonna be here to drive you crazy with questions and nagging doubt.” That’s the most Scully-to-Mulder thing that’s ever been said by someone not Scully to someone not technically Mulder.
  • Kersch is gunning for a chance to shut down the X-files, and Doggett wants to protect them.
  • “Get out while you can, Agent Doggett, or you may never get out at all.” Scully once said that she wouldn’t change a day except for the Flukeman, but Mulder’s dead now. She’d change that day.

xfiles deadalive scully get out while you can

  • Remember when Skinner was afraid to look any further beyond his experience in Vietnam? Remember when he was as hesitant to believe as Scully was, and even less inclined to go rogue? Now he’s digging Mulder’s body out of the ground after three months because he has a hunch that Mulder might still be alive, and “personally, I couldn’t live with the doubt.”
Really going above and beyond those godfather duties.

Really going above and beyond those godfather duties.

  • “Is is true? … I want to see him. No, I need to see him, dammit!” Scully doesn’t need protecting. She just needs Mulder, in whatever shape he’s in.

xfiles deadalive scully need to see him

  • “Tell me it’s true.” She wants her hope back.
  • Every time Scully gets emotional about Mulder, she touches her belly.

xfiles deadalive scully holding belly

  • “I need to see him.” She whispers it. It’s not a protest or even an order now. It’s an admission that she’s still lost without Mulder.

xfiles deadalive scully i need to see him

  • The first place she touches him is on his heart.

xfiles deadalive scully mulder hospital heart

xfiles deadalive scully crying mulder hospital

She loves him so much.

  • “The man down the hall was my—is my partner.” Welcome back, present tense.
  • Scully’s never letting go. She’s moved in to this chair, and she’s working on becoming left handed, just for basic things like writing love notes to Mulder while she never lets go of his hand.

xfiles deadalive scully holding mulders hand

  • “I hope you’re not asking me to leave.”
It would not go well for you.

It would not end well for you.

  • “My concern’s for your well-being, Agent Scully. That’s all it’s ever for.”
Aw, Doggs.

Aw, Doggs.

  • “Agent Doggett, however I felt about you when we first met, you changed my opinion with the quality of your character and of your work. Now, I am thankful to know you and I am thankful for your concern. But no matter what Mulder’s chances are, the choice not to open up that grave was wrong. And not because of me personally, but as my partner on the X-files. Now the truth may hurt, but it’s all that matters.” Scully throws down the Mulder morality.
  • Doggett just… runs alongside Krycek’s car and punches him through the window.

xfiles deadalive krycek doggett

  • Doggett take the wheel.


  • This is beautiful.

xfiles deadalive krycek car doggett

  • Do not threaten Mulder in front of Doggett. He will end you.

xfiles deadalive doggett angry

  • Doctor Scully figured it out. Scully the medical doctor. Mulder needs that part of her. Everything she was before she met him, her degree, her thesis, everything she brought to the table as a scientist, is still literally saving him.
xfiles deadalive doctor scully

With Skinner’s help.

  • Baby goat picked the right side. His back is so straight.

xfiles deadalive doggett kirsch

  • Mulder responds when Scully takes his hand, and she hasn’t been this alive in months.
Miracles are happening.

Miracles are happening.

  • I feel like “Hi” is actually the perfect word to pop out of Scully’s mouth right now. It’s the most everyday thing. She never thought she’d have an everyday thing with Mulder again. “Hi” holds the promise of all of the days going forward: keychain presents, New Year’s Eve kisses, stakeout root beers, bubble baths, waking up, going to bed, writing reports, six dead cows. Even though he pulled her into this life, Mulder is also the one who makes sense of it all. The one normal thing Scully and Mulder have is their relationship with each other. This is normal. That makes it big. “Hi” says it all.

It's the most everyday thing, and she never thought she'd have an everyday thing with him again. It's a

  • Also normal: Mulder pranking Scully at inappropriate times.

xifles deadalive mulder who are you

xfiles deadalive scully sad who are you

This is her nightmare.

You little troll.


  • He has to be punished. But even that’s a familiar experience; Mulder tends to default to bad jokes when things get serious. He’s hit the reset button for a minute. After everything Scully and Mulder have been through and before all of the readjustment still to come, for one minute, it’s like they’re back in that haunted house on Christmas Eve. Mulder puts a flashlight to his face and stops her heart, and Scully wants to slap him for it.

xfiles deadalive scully oh my god

xfiles deadalive scully don't do that

  • “Do you know—do you have any idea what you’ve been through?” “Only what I see in your face.” Mulder can’t feel his own pain, but he can feel Scully’s, and she carries his pain on his behalf. They’re so connected that they understand themselves by focusing on each other.
It's the hair thing that Mulder always does. He doesn't hair any hair in his face, but that's fine. She just wants to touch him.

Scully’s doing that hair thing that Mulder always does. He doesn’t have any hair in his face, but that’s fine. She just wants to touch him.

  • She doesn’t actually need to write him love notes; she can just do this forever.


  • When’s the last time Scully laughed?

xfiles deadalive scully laugh

  • Come back later, baby goat. It’s private time.
xfiles deadalive scully mulder bed

I love that Scully doesn’t hesitate to make that clear that she wants to be alone with Mulder. There will be time for everything else later.

  • The world is right again.

It's like they're committing it to memory.

“Three Words”

  • I bet the president does want a copy of Fight the Future on Blu-ray.

xfiles three words fight the future

  • It’s important that we see upfront how traumatized Mulder is, because that informs everything.
Puppy I am so sorry.

Puppy I am so sorry.

  • “Mulder, you okay?” The actual most significant “three words” in this episode.

ACTUALLY the three words

  • “For a guy who was in a coffin not too long ago, I think I’m doing pretty damn good.” Optimism and denial go hand in hand with Mulder.
  • He’s in perfect health. Scully’s getting all kinds of miracles lately.

xfiles three words scully mulder perfect health

  • “Something looks different.” “It’s clean.”
Joke!Scully, I've missed you.

Joke!Scully, I’ve missed you.



  • Scully wants him to understand what it was like for her. There’s no way to describe it, but she tries anyway, because she wants to share all of her experiences with him.
Mulder, what does this even MEAN? You were BURIED. SCIENCE IS SURPRISED.

Mulder, what does this even MEAN? You were BURIED. SCIENCE IS SURPRISED.

  • She prayed a lot. She couldn’t just do nothing in those months without a lead.

He is every goal she has.

  • Mulder is so disoriented by Scully’s pregnancy, but he tries to be supportive, and he doesn’t press to find out how it happened. Not that she knows. If she could say 100% that the baby is his, it might help some of the confusion, but neither one of them can say for sure at the moment. It’s just this inexplicable thing. Usually they experience those together.
xfiles three words mulder happy for you

He THINKS he knows. He’s not certain of anything right now.

"I'm just... I'm having a little trouble processing... everything."

“I’m just… I’m having a little trouble processing… everything.”

  • Mulder was tortured and buried, and now he’s awake, and everything’s different. He’s allowed to be a little off.
  • “Well, somebody’s very anxious for him to get back to work.” Scully submitted an application for Mulder’s reinstatement on his behalf, because she wants him to have his place back, and his place is in that basement hunting aliens with her.
  • Skinner stands up for Mulder and Scully’s success rate.

xfiles david gillian horrible fbi agents nycc

xfiles nycc david gillian never solved one case

  • “You sent me to find Mulder. I found him. Don’t charge me with driving a stake through his heart.” Doggett, you prince.
  • And back at apartment 42, Mulder makes up for lost time with his couch.

xfiles three words mulder couch

  • “He wants to punish you.” “And you by putting you in this position. And Agent Scully, for not giving up on me.” Even when he’s traumatized, he still notices and appreciates the people who put themselves on the line for him. He never doubts Scully’s dedication.
  • Scully asks if they’re just going to sit here and let this happen, and he looks amazed all over again by his very pregnant partner who just wants to fight for him.

xfiles three words scully going to give birth

  • “I’ve had a partner for the last several months.” There’s no way to not make that sound a little bit like she was partner-cheating, even though she was all for Mulder the whole time. So she adds that Doggett was assigned—it wasn’t her call—and that he was assigned to find Mulder.
  • Mulder doesn’t feel like getting back to work until he has a system to challenge. He’s excited to be the FBI’s most unwanted.
  • My heart just grew three sizes.

xfiles three words mulder office

  • “Hey, I am just down here visiting my buds.” Mulder, you couldn’t nineties even when it was the nineties.
  • “Absolom abductee class picture.”
  • “He’s right. You’re right.” I love it when Scully speaks for Mulder and with Mulder at the same time.
  • Bedroom talk: conspiracy edition.
xfiles three words mulder conspiracy

“Oooh, there’s that word again.”

  • “Do you want to hear something really paranoid? The FBI gets its way, there’s going to be nobody down here to ask the paranoid questions.” Yes, babies. Fight the system.
  • Okay but has no one thought to check Doggett’s house? Where he lives?
  • I will continue to get emotional about Scully closing the door at Mulder’s request to hide his rogue activities. I know it’s just a door. I don’t care.

xfiles three words scully shut the door

  • “Because if I can’t stop it, it could happen to anyone. It could happen to you.” Everything Mulder does is for the big, ideal Anyone—the everyday citizen. But really, it’s always for Scully.
  • Scully knows she should walk away, but Mulder is investigating. He’s digging in the desert with a backhoe, and it’s her favorite thing to watch.

xfiles three words scully door

  • She grabs the tape out of Mulder’s hand, because if he’s going to do something wildly illegal, the least she can do is help.


  • Baby goat is excited.

xfiles three words doggett smile

  • Mulder, no.

xfiles three words mulder doggett

  • “You gotta understand what he’s been through.” Good effort, Skinner. (Although really, you do.)
Could be at home shirtless right now.

Could’ve been at home shirtless right now.

  • GUYS
xfiles three words mulder frohicke

Do you hear the people sing?

  • “And not just because we got big questions about your involvement in a certain blessed event.”
Wait there are questions? What questions? Am I the answer to the questions?

Wait there are questions? What questions? Am I the answer to the questions?

Yes please.

Yes please.

  • Doggett still just wants to help.
  • The way Mulder says, “Scully, what are you doing back?” is so domestic. And he’s sitting in the dark puzzling out a conspiracy, so it’s Mulder’s kind of domestic.
xfiles three words mulder scully what are you doing back


  • “Get out of here. Get going.” “I can’t do that to him.” Scully doesn’t leave Mulder behind, especially now.
  • I’ve missed puppy’s bouncy stealth run.
  • “Agent Mulder, I don’t even know what that information is.”
Do you KNOW how confused I am by this job?

Do you KNOW how confused I am by this job?

  • “GET HIM OUT OF THERE, GUNMEN” Protective Scully is my light.
  • Now I need you two to bond in the ceiling.

xfiles three words doggett mulder

Thanks for bearing with me as I processed all of this. Season eight does not pull any punches. Stay tuned for more adventures of dog and goat! (Spin-off children’s book series: I call it.)


  1. YES! I’m so glad you’re back! My feelings on this post full of feelings are all over the place, so I’ll present them in list form:

    1) Reliving this part of the series ruins me every. single. time. Whether I’m re-watching it or looking a GIFs of it or reading about it. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking and wonderful and terrible all at once, and you’ve captured those feelings so perfectly.

    2) I love that you call them Puppy and Baby Goat, because it just fits so freaking well.

    3) “Doggett take the wheel” is my new life’s motto.

    Keep up the great work. I can’t wait for Volume 20! 🙂

  2. In “Three Words”, during the scene where Scully gets Mulder back to his apartment and Mulder talks to her about her pregnancy (after he says “I think I know how much this means to you”, there is a big pause), rumour has it that Scully is mouthing the phrase “it’s yours” but doesn’t say it out loud. If you re-watch the episode and pay attention, you will see her about to say something and if you try to read her lips, it seems as though that’s the thing she’s about to say. It’s there.

    P.S. If life worked like a video game, and it could be easy, medium, hard etc, Scully would be living the expert mode. And winning like a boss.

      1. I know right?! I hadn’t noticed it either, I read it somewhere on tumblr at some point and checked it out. I am 99% sure it was Gillian Anderson’s idea to do that kind of thing. Chris wouldn’t give us something like that. Sadistic, sadistic man.

  3. Honestly, This Is Not Happening killed me worse than Per Manum. And you posted that gif and now I’m just bawling because she was so desperate. She was chasing after the thinnest thread of hope that maybe Mulder could be brought back to her and then it’s ripped away along with Mulder’s life and she just can’t handle it.

    Also the Doggett+Mulder combo is just the funniest thing ever. Poor Doggett is already so confused by just…. life with the X-Files and then Mulder happens to him and it confuses him even more. All he wants to do is point his gun at the bad guy but he has no idea who the bad guy is because it’s everyone and no one and what the actual hell is he doing here it makes no sense to him.

    *pats Doggett on the head*

    1. The end of This Is Not Happening might be as devastating as Per Manum, yep. (HOW DOES THIS SHOW FIND SO MANY WAYS TO BREAK US?) Scully RUNS toward her last chance, only to watch it fall apart.

      I just want Doggett and Mulder to hang out forever. They’re SO different. It’s hilarious.

      1. Chris Carter is obviously a sadistic bastard who enjoys killing off his audience with EVERY FEEL IMAGINABLE.
        Isn’t he amazing!? ❤ Thanks Chris!

        I feel like Doggett and Mulder needed their own spinoff, and Skinner would guest star by just standing in the background like "The two of you, I swear to god…." and wishing he could be home shirtless. And Scully and Reyes just shake their heads.

  4. OK, when I saw that you had posted vol. 19 I got all teary. THAT is how much season 8 got to me. But let’s press on while I awkwardly shift myself behind a chair to put my pants back on.

    It’s so hard to watch Scully try to advocate for Mulder and put his point of view forward as her sense of hope that he is still alive wavers. Mulder and Scully give the work meaning for each other. If either of them is lost, then all the deaths and sacrifices would be for naught. Mulder and Scully, and what they have together gives the struggle meaning. The truth is out there, but they only want it if they are together. Doggett is beginning to understand this, I think. Beginning to comprehend that the very validity of the x files will be erased if Mulder dies.

    I love that Mulder is so careful about how he expresses his surprise at Scully’s pregnancy. Fox Mulder, who believes in big blue and once saw Elvis in a potato chip is struggling to comprehend that Scully could be pregnant with his child. A family is something he NEVER thought he’d have. His child, that Scully carries is such an amazing thing for him, but also so frightening. Because something that precious could be used against them, and could put Scully in danger. Puppy.

    Flashback: “Never give up on a miracle”. A quest to do the impossible never sounded like so much FUN.

    Thank you for remembering that Scully has the strength of Mulder’s beliefs. She built a suit of armour out of those beliefs, and it was so strong that even when Mulder doubted himself Scully was able to hold his beliefs in safekeeping until he was strong enough to resume his fight. I’ll just be over here in the corner clinging to life. Nevermind.

    When Scully walks into the hospital room and sees Mulder, she reaches out to feel the beating of his heart. never give up on a miracle, indeed. I think I’ve mentioned before Mulder’s habit of making jokes at emotionally intense moments. He’s on point as usual, bless him. It’s how we know he’s back and he’s Mulder and he’s gonna be OK. You’ll be pleased to know that he keeps this adorable habit right up to the season 9 finale, bless him.

    And finally, biggest shout out to Doggett, who finally admits that he has no freaking clue what is going on most of the time. He’s breaking into places to steal data, he has no idea WHAT IT IS, but he’s doing it because he believes in Mulder and Scully, and what they do. If they Think it’s important, then he’s in. He’s earned his basement stripes, big time.

    I’m going to try to post a picture that is a tribute to Scully being described as a MEDICAL DOCTOR. I’ll see how I go. Until next time.


    1. I read this comment this morning while I was getting ready for work and then spent the whole day thinking about how brilliant it is.

      “Mulder and Scully give the work meaning for each other. If either of them is lost, then all the deaths and sacrifices would be for naught. Mulder and Scully, and what they have together gives the struggle meaning. The truth is out there, but they only want it if they are together. Doggett is beginning to understand this, I think. Beginning to comprehend that the very validity of the x files will be erased if Mulder dies.” No I’m not CRYING. That’s so true. Mulder said as much in the hallway in Fight the Future. He doesn’t know if he can do it without her, but he also doesn’t know that he would want to. The truth stopped being some attainable fact a long time ago. It became the two of them and their daily work, their little victories. It’s the act of striving for something together.

      Aw, I hadn’t even considered that Mulder might fear that the child IS his as much as he fears the other options. Poor caring puppy, so worried about negatively affecting the people around him, even when they choose to follow him all on their own.

      “She built a suit of armour out of those beliefs, and it was so strong that even when Mulder doubted himself Scully was able to hold his beliefs in safekeeping until he was strong enough to resume his fight.” The song of season eight.

      Oh YES, bring on Mulder’s inappropriately timed jokes.

      Doggett DOES believe in Mulder and Scully, and it’s so sweet. He doesn’t have any idea what they’re doing, but he knows they’re not playing games. They don’t care about bureaucratic power plays. They just want to help people, so he just wants to help them. He wants that kind of FBI experience, and if he has to get it investigating aliens in the basement, that’s what he’ll do.

      1. Awww, shucks. Glad I can add something to the general Phile lexicon. But, so pumped for volume 20. 20 VOLUMES! Are we having some kind of PAR-TAY?

      2. PAR-TAY in Mulder’s motel room in the Florida panhandle, complete with the wine and cheese. Although I’m watching the season eight finale on Saturday night, so can we also have a lot of pillow for me to hug?
        HOW HAS IT BEEN 20 WEEKS? It feels so much quicker, but it also feels like I’ve loved this show a lifetime already.

  5. Aaah so glad you’ve made it here! Yes, it is pretty soul-crushing at this point in the series and involves many pints of ice cream (or something stronger) to drown in your feelings.

    (I’m so sorry for how long this comment is!)

    – It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of these episodes, but the idea that Doggett’s humility is an insecurity, too, is really interesting. Aw, Baby Goat, you are too beautiful for this world. (Or something. That makes no sense. I apologize.)
    – “Per Manum” was just the best and the worst all at once. “HOW DOES SCULLY GO ON WITH HER LIFE WHEN I CAN’T EVEN GO ON WITH THIS POST.” LOL! Pretty much the tag line of this series? God, I remember thinking at the time the sheer horror of knowing your entire life isn’t really your own, it’s reduced to a case number and evidence in a filing cabinet in the basement of the FBI building was so dehumanizing and tragic for Scully, and this whole maybe-alien baby threat was one more cog in that wheel. Poor Scully.
    – I feel like all of Season 8 (and 9) should know be known as “How about those Yankees?”
    – The last scene of “Per Manum” I think broke the fandom a little at the time (WE JUST MISSED THEM SO MUCH), and I see thanks to your gifs it’s just as shattering now. You know, David and Gillian sure made up for not being allowed to have Mulder and Scully kiss on their mouths by kissing just about everywhere else above the shoulders, now that I think of it.
    – “This Is Not Happening” is just the most crushing thing. “Oh, Scully hasn’t been through enough already? Let’s add the cherry on the sundae!” (Well, hold that thought.) The Skinner-Scully conversation outside the motel room was so brilliant though, and still one of my favorite moments of the series.
    – YES to Scully finally making a female friend, since she hasn’t had one since season 1. It gets… interesting. Oh Monica. You’re like Leslie Knope without the perk.
    – The breakdown when she finds his body, though? ALL THE FEELS.
    – The five week break between it and “Deadalive” was infuriating. I mean, I knew he wasn’t really dead, because, Duchovny was under contract for another handful of episodes, but talk about a cliffhanger.
    – Gotta love how Mulder pulled a Seeley Booth after waking up from his death-coma. (Or I guess Booth pulled a Mulder? Hmm.) As sad as it was, I loved the moment because it was so Mulder, and so them. I remember breathing a sigh of relief because no matter what was going to happen in the season, they were *back*.
    – The meta of the “Fight the Future” CD in “Three Words” will never not make me laugh.
    – Despite how frustrating it was, I do appreciate how they played up Mulder’s trauma. All I wanted was for them to just freaking talk it out and hug and kiss and be their beautiful selves, but there was so much unsaid both during his abduction and apparently in the year prior to it that they didn’t even know where to start. Or something. (I was in high school. That’s my excuse.)
    – The Mulder-Frohicke reunion was everything. Sigh.
    – And the budding Mulder-Doggett bromance is very entertaining.

    Sorry for posting a novel in your comments section! But these posts of yours are everything etc. Can’t wait for the rest of season 8!

    1. Hahaha I love David and Gillian’s everywhere kisses. They don’t follow the rules. They work in the basement. They kiss on the upper-neck-lower-cheek area. They do what they want.

      OHHH I just got chills all over again thinking about Skinner and Scully’s starlight talk.

      Right? Like, it’s so awful of Mulder to do that, but it’s so absolutely perfect too. Like, hey, I’m back, I’m me, I’m still going to mess with you. It’s exactly how he would break the ice, and it tells us that everything’s normal again.

      I so want them to just hug/ kiss/ make out/ talk it out, but it wouldn’t be realistic. They’re so closed off to begin with, and now THIS happens. It wouldn’t be right if they didn’t acknowledge and process how weird it all is.

      Bring on the Mulder-Doggett good times.

      Never ever apologize for that! Comment novels are my favorite kind.

  6. I was so irritated (re: pissed) when they used Duchonvy’s limited appearances for The Gift. And then Per Manum came along and all was forgiving.

    “My deepest sympathies to everyone who had to wait five weeks before this episode.” OMG it was the worst thing ever. Almost as bad as when the series finale ran and I woke up that morning to find out my cable was going to be out for a few days and I didn’t find a place to watch it until two hours before it aired (shout out again to my friend JB who not only said I could take over her living room to watch it, but ordered me pizza).

  7. I’ve been frantically checking this blog on a daily basis for this post, afraid that you had disappeared into a dark hole, never to be seen again. But alas, you have made it to the other side! Well, as close to the other side as can be at this point.

    Per Manum was a saving grace… FINALLY someone decided to make an episode that explained some of the storyline. Genius.

    This is Not Happening literally makes me cry; and by cry I mean, just reading the name of the episode makes me cry. Kudos to you for making it through.

    It’s so nice to have puppy back. Scully is basking in the pregnancy glow. All is (almost) right with the world 🙂

    1. Ahahaahah I think I did disappear into a dark hole for a while, in the sense that I would think about writing this and then curl up in a ball instead. But I made it! I might not be emotionally intact, but I’m here. So sorry for the delay, though! Being away all of the last two weekends didn’t help.

      Per Manum was SO necessary. Not that it explained what’s happening now, but it explained the timeline of what HAD happened in a way that was really helpful. And of course, it gave us PUPPY’S FACE and buckets of reassuring physical contact. This is what I live for.

      This Is Not Happening is just the most achingly desperate thing. I don’t know how Scully possibly goes through so much pain.

      But now! Puppy’s here, Scully’s glowing, everything is returning to normal. Thank goodness.

      1. This may just be longer than your review so I do apologize. And to think I wasn’t going to say anything. I appreciate your finding and loving what there is to be loved about this season. Once again, as a generally dissatisfied to downright outraged 8 & 9 viewer, I have a few comments on your comments, and on the commenters’ comments on your comments.

        Re this: “It’s important that we see upfront how traumatized Mulder is, because that informs everything.” We got 30 seconds of Mulder Trauma! All that he’d gone through called for an entire episode if not more. It called for Scully holding Mulder when he woke screaming with night terrors and talking him through it. And Fox Mulder, around whose quest to prove the existence of extraterrestrials the series revolved, gets actually abducted by them then returns and never says a word about his experience to anybody? Never a conversation with Scully? Fans had various reasons for dissatisfaction when these episodes aired but that was a pretty universal complaint. Calling on higher authority, here is a David Duchony quote on the subject:

        DD: “Here’s a guy who was abducted, we think. At least that’s what **I** think, and I’m playing the guy. And nobody seemed interested in that when he came back. It was, ‘Oh boy, you look bad,’ and then, ‘Here’s another case. Want to take a look at this?’ What I would have enjoyed playing as an actor was working through the difficulties that being abducted might have created inside the character. I don’t think that’s an opportunity we’ll take in the movies, though. It would just be reworking something from the past that not everybody would be aware of.”

        Re this: “I love that Mulder is so careful about how he expresses his surprise at Scully’s pregnancy.” But we didn’t get to see Mulder’s surprise at Scully’s pregnancy! He first noticed that she was pregnant off screen, sometime between Dead Alive and Three Words so we missed his initial reaction and the look on his face. Watch out for those major Mulder moments that happen off screen. Off screen or dead. An insidious pattern is developing.

        Re this: Per Manum was SO necessary. Not that it explained what’s happening now, but it explained the timeline of what HAD happened in a way that was really helpful.” Well… Per Manum was necessary and helpful to Carter and Spotniz because it allowed the pregnancy to be brushed off upon Mulder’s return with “well I see your prayers were answered. I think I know how much that means to you”. I mean, imagine the SCENE they would have had to give us without this convenient retroactive backstory they’d inserted that made pregnancy not such an unexpected thing. Keep in mind that they had promised us flashbacks that would explain the pregnancy and satisfy our prurient interests. We had been led to expect a love scene, not invitro. This would be a good point for another DD quote.

        DD: “I took her eggs. I had to say that in one episode. In fact, I think I had to say: ‘Scully, I took your ova.’ Even ‘eggs’ would have been sexier.”

        And ultimately the episode explained nothing. The last invitro attempt in Per Manum can’t be the explanation for the pregnancy, Invitro attempts have to have happened too long before Requiem for a false negative result to have occurred and the IVF to have worked after all. That would have been the first thing to occur to Medical Dr Scully and she wouldn’t have had trouble explaining it or believing it. Remember Gillian’s genius performance when she delivered those lines? THAT couldn’t be undone by any Season 8 backpedaling.

        Re this: “His child, that Scully carries is such an amazing thing for him, but also so frightening. Because something that precious could be used against them, and could put Scully in danger.” But the time to have considered that was before agreeing on his date with a paper cup. Either their activities on the X Files made bringing a child into the world just too dangerous and they wouldn’t have tried it & Mulder certainly wouldn’t have agreed, or it was a reasonably safe and sane thing to do. We have to assume the latter since they tried it. Mulder wouldn’t just suddenly recognize the dangers only upon learning she was pregnant. This is where it all starts to fall apart.

        And some random comments: You know the scene where Frohike hugs M and says “you’ve been dead six months and you still look better than me”? Originally it was going to be six months, not three with Mulder buried in that coffin. That was one thing that got changed because we online spoiler hogs hollered over Mulder’s apartment being there still waiting for him after six months. The obvious thing was for Scully to take him home to her place because his belongings would have been tossed out or distributed to his heirs (cousins presumably) long before & the apartment gone to other renters. So the writers changed it to three months cause I dunno, maybe people can continue to own their stuff and rent apartments for three months after death? That vestigial six month comment in the Gunmen scene remained though.

        And in Dead Alive, did you notice Doggett’s argument that it would have been his preference to leave Mulder buried alive than expose Scully to an unsettling experience?

        Also in Dead Alive, when Doggett & Scully discuss the things Billy Miles told them and Doggett says: “Do you believe it, Agent Scully? I mean that stuff he said about aliens coming to save the world.” Look at the expression on his face as he turns and walks away from her. Look at it! Just look at it! (trying to channel Mulder in Folie A Deux here) Just do look at it! That is not a noble and too fine for this earth goat. It’s a giant life sucking insect.

        Remember I said when you heard Doggett’s backstory it wouldn’t be from him. See?

        & Remember you said Mulder had better have a good reason not to have told her about the brain disease (which he didn’t have BTW)? Well that’s done with & never to be mentioned again. It was dreamed up either to undermine M & S trust, or to set up the vomit monster episode, or just for careless shock value or all the above.

      2. I’d honestly rather not even respond to this, but I just want to say that while I genuinely respect your right to be frustrated by the show, it’s not where I’m at as a fan. I’m sure there are plenty of forums online for people who want to air their grievances and commiserate, but I’m much more interested in focusing on the positives, and I’ve appreciated the fact that everyone here seems interested in doing the same. This show is literally the steadiest and (in its own heartbreaking way) most wonderful thing I have in my life right now, and as I’m not having a particularly good night, I might as well say that you made it much worse posting this. It just makes me sad. Again, it is absolutely your right to be annoyed by the show, but if you’re looking for someone to share your frustration, I’m not going to be that person, and I don’t appreciate being asked to join you in tearing down something I love.

  8. hi 🙂 I wanted to post a comment on the previous one but there were 42 of them and that was just perfect 🙂 Thank you for your good analysis on these two puppyheads which make me fall even more in love with them (which I didn’t know whas possible after 21 years with them and I’m 26 so they’re basically all my life) and thank you for making me laugh 😀 I’ve said it before but you deserve it on all your posts 😀 It’s so refreshing to read from a new fan 😀 I’m happy you are as crazy as I was the first time I saw the episodes and trust me, it’ll stay forever this way, there’s no way to outgrow Mulder and Scully’s love for each other. I’ve been waiting for a 3rd movie for 6 years and it’s TORTURE! Hope we’ll have it soon!

    1. Oh my gosh I WISH I could have spent the last 21 years with these people. You made great decisions as a kid. And thank you so much!! I’m never ever outgrowing this, that’s for sure.
      I BELIEVE in XF3. It’s out there. It’s coming for us.


    I can’t even prepare to read this.
    *btw, you are wonderful

  10. One of the WORST 5 weeks ever! Spring was just ruined. Scully’s emotional turmoil through those episodes…ugh! I don’t know how she managed. Some people complain about Mulder being a bit prigish when he came back, but…really? After all he just went through? I mean, he’s always had some rude tendencies anyway, but you add being dead & buried for 3 months, after having been abducted and tortured. Dude, cut a guy some slack, right? And besides, how does he know for sure that’s his baby? In his confused state of mind, it could be Skinner’s, after they spent a night “consoling” eachother about Mulder’s disappearance. We’ve all seen Hollywood A.D., he digs…she knows who has the bigger flashlight. Poor puppy.

    1. Hahahah “I’m in love with Associate Producer Walter Skinner.” I’d accept that.
      I agree—I don’t think all of Mulder’s actions (shoving Doggett, at least) can be EXCUSED, but they can all be explained by what he’s been through, and I wouldn’t believe ANY story that implied things could go right back to normal after that. There has to be some fall out.
      Poor, poor puppy.

  11. Now that I read this and remember that I watched Season 8 in real time, I don’t know how I survived. It was pure torture indeed. Guess that’s why I erased that season from my mind.

  12. I have enjoyed your series thus far. I think your commentary is spot on (and down right hilarious at times). I’m curious as to how you came up with Baby Goat for Doggett. I’m not complaing, just curious. Puppy and Baby Goat seem so spot on for Mulder and Doggett.

    1. Oh thank you so much!! Baby goat just kind of popped in my head when I was writing up “Patience.” I just felt like he was a confused baby goat, and it stuck. He IS Baby Goat to me now 🙂

  13. I am genuinely sorry. Please accept my apology. It wasn’t my intention to be a nasty troll and make you or anyone unhappy. To me the fun was always largely in discussion of the episodes that often included a variety of opinions and nit picking, and this arose out of a love of the show. Also reading interviews and what writers and actors said behind the scenes was really enjoyable. I imagined that a new fan might want to hear some background from the time the episodes aired. There were people who loved everything then too, you should know. Not all of us were miserable complainers. Anyhow, from now on I’ll just enjoy reading what you have to say and keep quiet. I may make one comment about my favorite season 9 episode. It’s a good Doggett/Reyes ep and presents a helpful idea that I hope you won’t find negative. Once again, sorry to have made anything worse in your life, especially when you have been a bright spot in mine.

    1. Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Again, I totally understand that loving a show in no way requires loving every aspect of it, and that it’s good/ necessary to be able to talk that out. There’s no right way to be a fan. It’s just that, like I said, it’s not where I’m at with the show right now. For all I know, there may come a time when I’m interested in reading up on the criticisms; I’m just entirely in the honeymoon phase at the moment. Your thoughts are always welcome, though. And thanks again.

  14. OMG the five weeks between TINH and DeadAlive almost killed me. I bought a new TV because I was afraid my old one would die just as they were reuniting. This Is Not Happening was just unreal. I just felt so bad for Scully–I didn’t think they’d kill Mulder off completely, but still, that was horrible at the time. I also didn’t like they way they introduced Monica Reyes. I ended up liking her over season 9, but my nickname for her for this season was Agent Flakey.

    I loved DeadAlive–the hope in Scully’s face when she first arrived at the hospital was a killer–of course I loved the ending–joking that he didn’t remember her was so Mulder.

    I’m kind of sad this will be over soon. It’s been such fun reliving the series. I’m guessing you’ll do the second movie as well. 🙂

    1. I LOVE that you bought a new TV for DeadAlive. I would have done the same thing. This is serious business! You couldn’t take the chance of missing the hope on Scully’s face.

      I’m sad it will be over soon, too!! But I’m definitely doing the second movie, however I end up feeling about it 🙂

    1. Hahaha “Mulder, it’s me” would have been GREAT. It’s so on the nose, though. I don’t think Scully would have had the presence of mind. I love that all words just kind of escape her there, and saying hi to him is the only thing she can think to do. It’s so full of their whole future.

  15. It’s all too raw, and I can’t even talk about this batch of episodes right now, but THANK YOU for this blog which is getting me through.

    “HOW DOES SCULLY GO ON WITH HER LIFE WHEN I CAN’T EVEN GO ON WITH THIS POST” is so perfectly accurate that I feel like someone has just explained the universe to me and I will never need any other knowledge ever.

    And also, watching this video clip approximately 10 times has helped to cheer me up: http://youtu.be/Wijp4-3giNw (David Duchovny, why won’t you love me?). So excited that the Puppy is back!

  16. Isn’t it sad that all her friends are somehow involved with the X-Files? When she first started this job, she had friends. She was someone’s (the same actress that played Samantha, but we won’t go there) kid’s godmother. The X-Files consumed her life and now all she has is Mulder, Skinner, and Doggett.

    “I CAN’T DO THIS.”


    “Her FACE when she learns that she might be able to have kids after all.”

    All she wants is to have one normal thing that normal people have. Just one and she can be happy. And then of course Mulder says yes, because he wants her to be happy. He wants her to have her one thing and he might not admit it, but he wants it too.

    ““You’re okay. You’re fine. And your baby’s fine.””

    I always kinda felt bad for Doggett here, because that’s one hell of a way to find out that your partner is pregnant. And I mean, he’s confused enough as it is, and then this happens and then “Oh by the way your partner is pregnant.” Poor Doggett. He’s so lost.

    I’m just gonna… skip talking about the end of This Is Not Happening. To this day, it remains the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen. Her desperation kills me every time. AND THEN I WAITED SO LONG FOR THE NEXT EPISODE AND IT OPENED WITH MULDER’S FUNERAL AND I COULDN’T EVEN HANDLE IT. God you’re so lucky you didn’t have to wait a month and a half for that. /jealous

    “Either our baby goat has found his place with the X-files in the last few months, he’s acting out of loyalty to Scully, or he’s come to believe that the FBI is one big power game and the basement is the best place for people who don’t want to play. Maybe a bit of all three.”

    I think it’s the last one. He saw how idiotic and manipulative and backstabby the rest of the bureau was and decided he’d just rather be confused than deal with it. xD At least Scully’s real with him now that she trusts him.

    “”You sent me to find Mulder. I found him. Don’t charge me with driving a stake through his heart.” Doggett, you prince.”

    You decided to like him back when he said it’s too hot for this BS. For me, I liked him okay when he saved Scully in Roadrunners, but THIS is where I really decided to like him. He doesn’t even know Mulder, but he won’t betray him.

    1. I KNOW I LITERALLY DON’T KNOW HOW I DID THIS. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop, but I also knew I was making the WORST DECISION. And then I made it anyway.

      Scully used to have people. She had a life. She told Mulder early on that she wanted to have a life. It’s like she already knew what was coming; all she had to do was meet Mulder, and she knew this was going to consume her. And it did, for better or for worse. But she wouldn’t change a day.

      Aghh I felt so bad for Doggett too. I mean, thankfully he’s so selfless, and his feelings for Scully clearly canceled out any frustration he might have felt with her for not telling him. And her reason for not telling—the fact that she thought the FBI would take her off the case, because she KNEW they were looking for any excuse to do just that—breaks my heart. She had to find Mulder, and she didn’t feel like she had any support in that (Skinner aside).

      The end of “This Is Not Happening” is just. No. Noooope. I have only the sound of my crumbling soul.

      SO GLAD I DIDN’T HAVE TO WAIT. My thoughts are with everyone who went through that.

      Aw, Doggett. That was so noble of him. Mulder was his responsibility, and he knew, even without knowing him, that the X-files were his whole life, and that losing them would be too much. UGH STILL MAD AT THE FBI.

  17. I clap like an excited seal every single time I watch the sass ooze off of Doggett just before and just after Mulder gets all physical with him in Skinners office.

    So much sass from Doggett! I think I almost ship Mulder and Doggett as well as Mulder and Scully!


  18. Feelings, nothing more than feelings…So that song is in my head now. I have to say, I don’t remember season 8 being this great. Forgotten the level of raw emotion. Scully losing Mulder and having to bury him, and then finding him alive. That reunion scene in the hospital – ungh! I do remember feeling disappointed that we weren’t shown Scully telling(showing?) Mulder about the pregnancy. I really wanted to see his face.

    I honestly don’t remember the explanation given for why Mulder was not dead and managed to be not dead for months in the grave. But hey, it’s the X-Files and by this point, we accepted anything they gave us, as long as the emotions were real. And they were SO real.

  19. Kelly! What about Doggett at the end of Deadalive?
    You say everything I think and feel. Now I’m have to articulate myself.
    Whilst I thoroughly appreciate and share your undying romanticism of Mulder and Scully and need for that world to be right again, that ending was an exquisitely complex and bittersweet moment for me.
    The look that passed between Scully and Doggett spoke volumes.
    Doggett lost his original place at the FBI where he was credible and well-liked and had a rising career etc, which he was probably pretty happy with, until he discovered there was an alternative i.e. The Radiant Scully and the Radiant Truth.
    He came to believe in the Radiant Scully much more quickly than The Radiant Truth but I think, (despite some resistance and frustrations) he was beginning to realize that – what with his integrity and loyalty and steadfastedness and upstandingness and the bureau being revealed to be horribly corrupt – he was in the right place, at The Radiant Scully’s side.
    Then… he was offered his original position back – but in a horribly corrupt way and he was invested now in Scully and the Truth and he felt needed and then what happened….
    The offer got rescinded in a really cruel and condescending and potentially life-crushing sort of way and he goes to find his new place at Scully’s side and Mulder’s back and he’s lost that place too!!!
    Scully looks at him and she knows what this means for him but Mulder is her world and he’s back now so, sorry Doggett.
    Sorry Doggett. And his face is all bashed up too. The imagery.
    Obviously, it’s all redeemed in later episodes but I was crushed for Doggett. Though, this is probably my forth rewatch over the course of my life and I have room in my heart now to feel more keenly for the other characters.
    I proper love Doggett and Reyes, particularly in their interactions with Mulder and Scully in these episodes of season 8. I’m really glad you are embracing them too in this blog. I loved your comment on how long you have waited for Scully to have a female friend. That is the unspoken spirit of this blog and it’s commenters.
    I hope I’m not out of place to say this but I really admired the way you and Mrs G aired and worked out your differences. I’d seen it coming a little and I was so proud to be female in how you both handled it so honestly and respectfully. I feel safe to leave comments on your site and that is credit to you.
    To end on a Doggett note, I really loved the way he goes to Scully in the hospital in Empedocles the way other people might go to church.
    To have deep thoughts in the peaceful, certain presence of the Divine.
    Scully is just RIGHT and I go to her through The X Files when I need to look upon that constant light that I can trust too.
    That and Doggett loves her. I wouldn’t watch a show where all the main characters didn’t orbit around Scully in awe and adoration.

    1. Ohh wow, thank you so much–I really, really appreciate this and I’m so glad you feel safe leaving comments on the site! I love Doggett too; he went through a lot in season 8 that we didn’t fully get to see him process. But I totally appreciate and love that Scully tells him (with just a look!) that now isn’t the time for him to come in. Because it just isn’t, in my opinion. It’s too much too quickly for Mulder, not to mention the fact that Scully and Mulder really need privacy at that moment. He literally just woke up. She JUST got him back. They need to just be them and be normal for a minute.

      But I love her friendship with Doggett and especially like what you said about his visit to Scully in Empedocles. She really is like a centering presence for him, and “I wouldn’t watch a show where all the main characters didn’t orbit around Scully in awe and adoration,” either.

  20. ‘Centering presence’ yes, that’s it.
    I entirely agree that he could not go in to that room but I still felt for him: ‘my real partner’ is back from the dead, ‘confused baby goat with a badge’ you stay out of the room :0)

  21. First off, we could have wine together and be friends. I just know it! I’m doing a big rewatch and you’re basically inside of my brain watching this. It’s comforting, TBH.

    I texted my boss after I watched requiem before work one day last week and it said “I’m gonna to be late today I am ugly crying because mulder got taken and scully is pregnant” her reply was that she thought my cat (scully) was pregnant 😂 Also, I’m a grown human with a rather professional job and I just couldn’t.

    Anyways! Have you noticed how Gillian literally changed her voice this season when she is playing scully? It’s insane, I’m not sure if it was intentional. But she doesn’t even speak as high toned or as quickly as she did before she lost mulder.

      1. I’m so glad you’re still responding! I watched the series the first time about five years ago? Doing a rewatch now and so glad I found your blog! I didn’t watch all of season 9 first time just the mulder episodes so I’m forcing myself to finish this for real before Sunday.

        Pray for me…

      2. Well I also decided today that the Adele 25 album is basically mulder and scully in current time singing to each other.

        It makes sense. “Hello? It’s Me” and “when we were young” and then the song about her baby.

        So. 😭🙋🏼

  22. One of my favorite moments in “DeadAlive” is, of course, Mulder pranking Scully. There is literally no better way for him to, in a single moment, assert that he is indeed “back”. But what really catches my heart each and every time is the look on Scully’s face. I can’t help but imagine what answers are running through her mind in response to “who are you?” … “your partner”, “the love of your life”, “the mother of your child”…. What could she have said to in any way satisfy the answer to his question? Nearly 15 years have passed and here I am still wondering…

  23. Watched “Three Words” today during super boring work (clear field, enter 0, repeat x 1,000) and the scene where Scully says “He’s right, you’re right.” just slayed me. How can GA put that much emotion into four words?? He’s back, he’s fabulous, and she is so excited and proud (so long as he doesn’t try anything stupid, like breaking into a highly classified federal building). This show. It’s so fabulous.

  24. “Per Manum” is one of the most emotionally devastating episodes in the entire series. On my most recent re-watching, I spotted some details that (I think) help place the flashback scenes in a way that indicates there’s no way that in vitro attempt was what caused Scully’s pregnancy. We know it has to be after “Redux,” because Mulder says her cancer was what kept him from telling her about finding her ova. But if you fast forward a few episodes to “Emily,” Mulder tells the judge that Scully knows she can’t bear children… which she tells him for the first time in the elevator scene in “Per Manum.” So that places those flashbacks squarely between “Redux II” and “A Christmas Carol.” Not only did that in vitro attempt cause Scully’s pregnancy, but suddenly, “Emily” is about ten times more upsetting of an episode as it originally was, given that she still had to be emotionally recovering from the in vitro not taking.

    1. Wow, I’d always just chalked up that “Per Manum” revelation to continuity errors, but that changes things! Hmmmm. I love the thought of the “never give up on a miracle” night as the first time Mulder and Scully had sex, which is why I’ve always imagined it happening later, but if I can manage to let go of that headcanon (which won’t be easy, hah), I can see them going through all of that in season 5. That’s a heartbreaking timeline.

      1. Another way to think about it is that the flashbacks shown in Per Manum could actually be significantly separated in time. So that the elevator revelations about her infertility and Mulder’s salvaging of her ova take place between Redux and A Christmas Carol; but then her attempt at IVF doesn’t happen until much later, after the whole Emily situation. One could imagine the experience with Emily being the trigger to spur Scully to try IVF – that she wasn’t sure if she was ready for a child until after that experience (kind of as she suggests when talking to the adoption lady in the episode). M&S are so happy in the first part of series 5, between Redux and Emily, that I can’t imagine placing the failed IVF in that window of time. Personally, I can’t imagine the IVF happening until after Patient X/The Red and the Black and All Souls, in fact. Earliest I can place it is late season 6, maybe right before Biogenesis. For me, the IVF makes most sense either right before the Biogenesis/Sixth Extinction arc or right after. YMMV!

  25. I haven’t watched series 8 in a long time – mostly out of fear of the emotional consequences – and I watched Per Manum last night and This is Not Happening just now and am about to watch Deadalive and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph I am WRECKED. Dammit, it’s a TV show. That I started watching 23 years ago. How can I have sublimated my emotional life into fictional characters to this extent? And why can I not regret even a second of it? It is so irrational and so perfect and so devastating and so beautiful.

  26. This show is our fix. I have given up on the MOTW or the paranormal. I just wait for their interaction and BIELIEVE it is possible in reality . I do … I really do.

  27. I love the way Scully says “Hi” in Deadalive. It’s like she’s been holding her breath the entire time waiting for Mulder to wake up and with that one word, all her “fear and anxiety goes shooting out of her mouth like a big wet wad and she can breathe again”.

    Also I wanted to sock Mulder for pranking Scully at that moment but then again, we see that Mulder is still good ol’ Mulder after all this time. He made Scully laugh and that’s what she needed most.

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