Mulder (David Duchovny, L) and Scully (Gillian Anderson, R) search for the truth in the series finale of THE X-FILES
airing Sundy, May 19th (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
ª©2002 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY.  CR:  Larry Watson/FOX.

Times Mulder and Scully Should Have Made Out This Week: “The Truth”

Bring me your finest water guns and take me to the desert.

Times Mulder and Scully should have made out in “The Truth,” which is not the final episode of The X-Files:

  • PUPPY’S HERE.
xfiles truth mulder is here

YESSSSSS

  • So glad he still hasn’t figured out his stealth run.
xfiles truth mulder run

bounce bounce bounce

  • Mulder attacks a super-soldier; Mulder goes flying through a sheet of glass.

xfiles truth mulder glass what_i_expected_arrested_development

  • That is so perfectly, stupidly, beautifully Mulder anyway—so noble and ill advised. He has to know that he’s done everything he could. He wouldn’t be Mulder if he didn’t keep fighting against impossible odds. The impossible is his whole life.
  • He doesn’t have Scully and he’s losing his mind.
Did Duchovs write this fanfic?

This is because David Duchovny wanted secret underground bunker slash fic, isn’t it?

  • Party in the opening credits and literally everyone’s invited.
  • WHY ARE THEY MAKING US FEEL THESE THINGS
xfiles truth mulder about my son his mother

“His mother.” This is what Mulder holds on to: the idea of the family he almost had.

  • Scully can tell that something is wrong just by looking at Mulder’s back.

xfiles truth scully sees mulder

Hello, what are you still doing over there?

What are you still doing over there?

  • “Dana.” He would never call her Dana so casually.
xfiles truth mulder dana

Look how thoroughly he’s disappeared into his act. There’s no recognizable Mulder in this blank face; even the way he holds his hands is different. Mulder, who is all about the truth, who will stand up in court and declare without apology that the man on trial can squeeze through an air vent or push his will onto people, can lie after all—but he’ll only do it for Scully, to keep her safe and get back to her in one piece.

  • Mulder once joked that Scully must have seen this coming, that she always knew his delusions would catch up with him eventually. His open mind is easily manipulated. He knows that he can get her to believe that he’s been brainwashed because she’s seen him lose himself in the promises and criticism of others. But he said it when the FBI first tried to split them up: Scully is the only one he trusts, more than he trusts himself. Mulder never gave in to the voice that told him he was guilty because he knew she would never believe it. She’s his touchstone. Scully is the reason Mulder can’t be broken anymore and the reason he has to act like he was. But there’s the old tragedy again—that what saves them is what keeps them apart, that she won’t know she’s the one he held on to, that he can keep from her just how completely he needs her.
  • Fine then, Mulder; Scully’s coming to you.

xfiles truth scully hug mulder

  • This is killing him.
must not make out with Scully, must not make out with Scully

must not make out with Scully, must not make out with Scully

xfiles truth scully mulder cheek eyes

NOPE.

  • Her case reports are meditations on the human spirit and she’s roused to eloquence when she’s mad, but Scully doesn’t have a language strong enough for Mulder. Everything comes out as passionate understatement.
xfiles truth scully mulder i haven't seen you

Also the face stroking, PLEASE.

  • “Oh hey Walter. Good to see you man.”
Don't you dare.

Don’t you dare.

  • “We’re going to get you out of here” is a promise to get him out of jail, but more than that, it’s a promise to get the real Mulder out of the person he currently is. Mulder is never a lost cause to Scully.
  • Okay, excusing himself to turn around and stare at the wall might be taking it too far.
(surreptitiously checks his neck for Alaskan ice worms)

(surreptitiously checks neck for Alaskan ice worms)

  • Skinner puts his hand on Scully’s lower back like Mulder usually would.
  • “And they have him believing that he did it.” Scully doesn’t doubt Mulder’s innocence, but she also doesn’t blame him for getting drawn in to the military’s lies. The only people at fault here are the ones accusing him, and she’s going to take them down.
  • “Knowle Rohrer” FOUR TIMES IN NINE SECONDS thank you finale.

30 rock best days of my flerm

  • Scully’s calling in every resource, Kersh included. I’ve always loved the way she shows up at his office in “Triangle” to ask for his help, because she knows that she’s hard to say no to and she’ll do whatever it takes for Mulder, but also because she genuinely hopes that it’s possible to find good in almost anyone. Scully has learned Mulder’s wariness, but she still wants to believe that people are capable of doing the right thing if given the opportunity. She’s seen what their friends have done in Mulder’s name, and she believes in his ability to change people even more than he does.
  • “I’ve been asked by a female agent, Mulder’s closest associate, to beg mercy of the military court to give Mulder every consideration based on his good character.” She’s not even trying to prove that Knowle Rohrer can’t be killed. It’s not about that. The only truth Scully has any interest in right now is the truth of Mulder’s integrity. That’s why she became his closest associate in the first place.
  • It definitely wasn’t because she loves being trolled at inappropriate times.

xfiles truth mulder clarice

I'm not even on that show yet!

I’m not even on that show yet.

xfiles truth mulder joking laugh

Anybody miss me?

xfiles truth scully damn it mulder

Gonna make him pay.

  • This is how Mulder likes to show that he’s okay—by messing with Scully—and the more it becomes his habit, the more effectively it proves that he’s still himself. But at this point, kissing Scully would prove that just as well.
  • Nothing stands between them anymore.
xfiles truth mulder scully kiss skinner out

Skinner out.

  • Mulder never breaks eye contact. He’s not worried that the world will end if he kisses her; he’s a little worried that it will if he doesn’t.
  • Scully NEEDS THIS.

xfiles truth kiss scully mulder scully's face

  • I just ate a whole pint of ice cream because of what they’re doing with their thumbs. It’s “Come on back” meets “You were my constant.” It’s the two of them saying in tandem that they love what they have and they’re going to be okay.

xfiles truth scully mulder kiss thumbs

  • The kiss goes into a hug and then back to a kiss and then into a series of neck kisses and then into a full hug. This is Mulder and Scully summed up: a messy entanglement of friend love and romantic love and the urge to go at it right here on the prison floor. This kiss has it all.

xfiles truth scully mulder kiss xfiles truth scully mulder kiss hug

  • Including Walter Skinner
In better lighting, so we don't forget what show we're watching

In better lighting, so we don’t forget what show we’re watching

  • “Come here, you big, bald, beautiful man.”
xfiles truth mulder big bald beautiful man

This is how I greet Skinner in my dreams.

  • “The only thing you’re going to be kissing, Mulder, is your sweet ass goodbye, the trouble you’re in.” Ass kissing! Unprompted! Finale gives the people what they want.
  • Mulder can’t talk about the trouble he’s in without taking Scully’s hand and kissing it, but he’d do the same thing if they were talking about baseball stats.
She's so happy that he's still the same man who

After everything he’s been through, he’s as soft and in love with her as ever, and Scully is as relieved as she is sad for him.

  • “What’s really on trial here is the truth.” MULDER
  • When Mulder points out that you can’t kill a man who won’t die, Scully somehow looks even more in love with him, because he doesn’t think he’s guilty and he still believes in super-soldiers and in some ways that’s more proof of this man than even his inability to let go of her.
But don't worry, he's still holding her hand to his heart.

But don’t worry, he’s still holding Scully’s hand to his heart.

  • “Skinner can defend me.” Mulder isn’t even asking. He’s not demanding, either; he’s just telling Skinner what he knows he’s capable of and trusting that his friend will come through. It’s hard for Mulder to put such complete faith in someone else, but it’s even harder for him to believe that others will want to put their faith in him—that he’s worth the sacrifice. He never could have done that before Scully.
  • I am living for Mulder and Doggett’s begrudgingly respectful nods. Mulder isn’t in focus and I don’t even care. Remember when puppy and baby goat went on a high seas adventure together? I watched it again last week, you can’t stop me.

xfiles truth doggett mulder nod

  • “You ready for this? I know this is impossible.” Doggett has to make it clear that he believes in Mulder’s innocence.
  • “Mulder, it’s me.”

We’ve lost the couch and apartment 42 and the big cell phones, but we’ll never lose “Mulder, it’s me,” which is really just Scully reaching out to Mulder to tell him what he already knows: that she’s here. She loves being expected as much as he loves having someone to expect.

  • Scully keeps coming back. She came back when she thought Mulder was brainwashed, and now here she is again. She can’t stay away. “Mulder, I’m so scared that I’ve just got you back and now I’m going to lose you again.”

xfiles truth scully confide in me

  • “I need you to talk to me. Confide in me. Or we’ll lose.” The kissing is great and all, but it won’t win this court case. Their only shot against the military is the first advantage they ever had—their willingness to trust each other. But Mulder’s seen that advantage ripped away from them both, and he’s just waiting for it to happen again. This is trauma; this is the aftereffect of solitude and torture; this is where he’s landed after years of getting burned by the government. It’s Mulder’s turn to be afraid to believe. “We can’t win, Scully. We can only hope to go down fighting.”
  • Skinner told Mulder that he doesn’t get to see his son anymore, so we can just sweep that emotional fallout under the rug as quickly as possible. But I do appreciate that Skinner wanted to spare Scully at least that much pain, to try to keep it from coming between her and Mulder. He’s always protecting their relationship.
xfiles truth mulder i do know skinner told me

Look at his eyes. Mulder is IN this with her.

  • “Our son, Mulder. I gave him up. Our son. I’m so afraid you could never forgive me.”
That's so much for her to carry.

That is so much to carry: not only the pain of losing William but the fear of losing Mulder with him. She’s been shouldering it all on her own.

  • “I know you had no choice. I just missed you both so much.” Scully did technically have a choice, however much she believed that the outcome was inevitable, but all Mulder has is this one helpless admission that he missed his child as much as he missed Scully. His whole life is just being forced to brush off loss after loss.
  • “Looking for the truth,” he says, buried in Scully.
xfiles truth scully truth laugh

Mulder sounds so self-conscious, still wishing for that peg leg to make him more content, but his refusal to settle is a part of him, and Scully loves it all. As long as she can follow him, she’ll be fine.

  • “I can’t tell you.” “That doesn’t make any sense.” Yes.
  • Look who’s picked up Scully’s “can’t keep my mouth closed when I look at my partner” thing.
xfiles truth mulder jail gaze at scully

Mulder, compose yourself.

  • COURTROOM: (is definitely where they play Tuesday night Bingo) SKINNER: Well, this feels right.

xfiles truth skinner courtroom

  • Walter Skinner, though. Remember when the Smoking Man loomed in the corners of his office? The boss with questionable loyalties is now Mulder’s top defender. The man who didn’t want to rock the boat put out a “Thank You for Not Smoking” sign. He told Mulder that his resignation was unacceptable. He told CSM to pucker up and kiss his ass. Skinner helped. He cared about Mulder and Scully. And he did it imperfectly, sometimes falling back on the company line, because he never entirely lost his fear of what would happen to him when he made his allegiances known. He just decided to make them known anyway. Skinner stopped letting the fear stop him. Like most of us, he found it hard to live as unapologetically as Mulder and Scully, but he kept trying to do the right thing. He made his “wayward kids” feel less alone, with their help. Skinner is the clearest indicator of what Mulder and Scully can do—not find answers or take down the system, but change individual lives.
  • “How did you get this assignment?” A lot of good people get assigned a lot of questionable tasks in this business. Skinner knows; he was one of them. Skinner is so aware that the system makes pawns out of people, and before he can plot his next move, he has to know if there’s a chance that his opponent can be swayed. He asked the same thing of Doggett, and his instinct was right: Doggett didn’t know whose dirty work he was doing.
  • Kallenbrunner asks how Skinner got his assignment; Skinner stares into the abyss.
xfiles truth skinner how assignment

NOTE TO SELF KICK MULDER’S BUTT

  • “It’s okay. Try your case.” YOUR case. Mulder’s just handing it all over, trusting Skinner to fight on his behalf. If he really believes that he’s a lost cause, then this is Mulder choosing his successors. Scully gets his personal quest; Skinner gets his professional one.
xfiles truth mulder it's okay try your case

loyal puppy

  • Because this episode is a love letter to us all, “Dana Katherine Scully” is followed almost immediately by “medical doctor.”
  • “I was assigned nine years ago to the X-Files to spy on Agent Mulder, whose methods the FBI distrusted.” Four years ago, while working on an assignment outside the FBI mainstream, I was paired with Special Agent Dana Scully, who I believed was sent to spy on me—to debunk my investigations into the paranormal. That Agent Scully did not follow these orders is a testament to her integrity as an investigator, a scientist, and a human being. She has paid dearly for this integrity.

xfiles truth scully my name is dana katherine

  • Scully is now forced to sit before a committee with her partner’s life on the line, as Mulder did when she had cancer. But while this hearing is to save Mulder’s life, Mulder’s hearing was not technically to save hers. It was his own career on the line. To save himself, Mulder chose to talk about Scully—because her “goddamned strict rationalism and science” have saved him a thousand times over, because he can’t do this alone, and because her life was wrapped up in the government’s plot against him but was so much more important. But to save Mulder, Scully chooses to talk about conspiracy and aliens.
  • It’s not like she’s suddenly decided that the conspiracy is her top priority here. Scully’s only concern in this trial is Mulder. Mulder is the one who keeps falling back on the truth about aliens as the most important—more important even than their relationship, because it’s more important than his life. Only Scully’s life has ever trumped this conspiracy for him, and after spending so much time away from her, convincing himself that their separation is worth the cost, there’s a chance that he’s forgotten how useless his quest felt when it looked like she might die from it.
  • But Scully’s humanity can bring Mulder back, as it has since day one. The FBI sent her to spy on him, and she didn’t listen. Her testimony hinges on that fact—on the fact that she refused to be a part of the agenda. What saved him personally was her willingness to challenge him, but what saved him professionally was that she followed him anyway. Scully followed Mulder until he convinced her. Now she believes too, and that’s his credential.
  • I love that Mulder is so caught up in his work that the only way to save him is to prove the alien conspiracy. His life depends on being told that he’s right after years of hearing he was wrong. And I love that the finale gathers everyone together to defend the man the FBI hid in a basement, because while his actual life is found in his work, the worth of that life is found in the people who’ll fight for it. The entire concept behind this episode just feels right to me.
  • MONTAGE, NO.
actual child

actual child

  • Scully’s talking about Roswell, and Mulder couldn’t be prouder.
xfiles truth mulder trial scully

They have communication like that, unspoken.

  • “Is this all leading anywhere?” “YEAH. The destruction of mankind.” Marry me.
xfiles truth mulder destruction of mankind finger

This is his “the virus may be extraterrestrial” face. Spooky Mulder, reporting for duty again.

  • Meanwhile, Skinner.

xfiles truth skinner destruction of mankind

  • “Agent Scully, isn’t it true that you and Mulder were lovers, and you got pregnant and had his love child?” WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT
Do we kill him?

Do we kill him?

Not here.

Not here.

  • Dating app for people who are sexually frustrated by the way Skinner says “mockery”
  • “I hope this isn’t the entire basis of your defense, Mr. Skinner.”
Nooo, I have a great defense. So much defense.

Scale of 1 to 10, how much would you mind if it is

  • The “Paper Clip” shirt is still the best possible thing Mulder could have worn for four days straight.

xfiles truth mulder paper clip

  • I know the finale needs puppy’s sad Samantha face, but it still kills me.

xfiles truth mulder samantha

  • He’s broken up about what Spender’s been through, too. Mulder doesn’t like the thought of anyone suffering, especially when they’ve suffered in his place.

xfiles truth mulder spender

  • “I know why you’re here and what you want.” And he knows she’ll talk him out of it if he’s making a mistake.
  • “I’d rather die, Scully.”
xfiles truth scully how can you say that

This is your one in five billion speaking.

  • “Because this is greater than you or me. This is about everything we worked for for nine years—the truth that we both sacrificed so much to uncover and to expose.” Mulder needs to believe that he and Scully have been working toward something worth dying for, because if they haven’t, then what’s the point of everything they’ve already lost? Maybe he can make it all mean something if he goes down fighting for it—if he tells the truth about super-soldiers and doesn’t back down. Deep Throat saw years ago that this was the difference Mulder could make: “And maybe sometime, through you, the truth will be known.”
  • Scully gets where he’s coming from, because she gets him. But if he’s going to risk it all for the truth, then shouldn’t it be for the whole truth? “Then expose it, Mulder! Take the stand. Whatever it is that you’re withholding, take the stand and hit them full force.”
  • “I can’t.” The colonization date is one truth that he doesn’t want to speak aloud, not to Scully, because if he tells her, they’re going to have to do something about it. What if there’s nothing to be done? Or what if he can do it on his own? After a year of trying to handle things by himself—when what kept him going was the thought of a family waiting back home—Mulder doesn’t want this quest to be Scully’s life. He refuses to accept that she’s made it her life too, that she’s in this with him, that “how about those Yankees?” can’t actually keep her safe. Everything Mulder can’t accept comes down to Scully’s life being at risk.

xfiles truth mulder i can't

  • He might die for what he believes in—a part of him welcomes the easy idealism of it—and if he doesn’t die for the truth, then he’ll keep fighting for it. That’s what he does. But he’s always been so aware of what Scully has sacrificed for this job, and he wants her to have an end to all this. Scully can represent his end to all this—a corner of his world the conspiracy can’t touch, a life waiting for him if he can finish what he started in the desert. And if there’s nothing to be done, at least she won’t lose the next 10 years trying.
  • Mulder told her before his abduction that the personal costs were too high. He was right. He just has no idea that for Scully, the steepest cost is a life without him. This isn’t about ideals or theoretical victories. Scully doesn’t give a damn about finding a hill to die on. They’ve already lost what they’ve lost, and nothing can make it any easier. Reasons are a terrible thing to be left with after losing someone you love. Life is just hard. That’s all it is. And all they have is them. This is about holding on to their relationship—their one good thing—with everything they’ve got and not letting go.

xfiles truth scully you and me

  • “You say this is greater than us, and maybe it is, but this is us fighting this fight, Mulder, not you. It’s you and me. That’s what I’m fighting for, Mulder. You and me.” Scully’s only concern is Mulder, but her priorities are compatible with his. She’s not telling him to stop fighting. She’s telling him to remember that this fight is only possible together. He has to know that this dream of keeping her out of it is futile, anyway. She won’t let him go alone.
  • “I’m putting the truth on trial.” MULDER.
xfiles truth mulder truth on trial

Look at him, he’s nuts, I love him

  • “What truth? Whose truth?” Even his subconscious knows he’s idealizing something that might not exist.
  • Mulder lets hallucinations help him more than actual people, because he can’t do anything more to ruin their lives I’m okay.
xfiles truth mulder marita address

Ghosts holding tangible items is one of my favorite X-Files.

  •  “The son of a bitch hung up on me!” Don’t hang up on baby goat!
Don't hang up on baby goat's tight sleeves.

His shirt shrinks when he’s angry.

  • Here, have some casual domesticity.

xfiles truth monica doggett's house

  • “Skulking.”
  • Do I ship Marita and Ghost Krycek?
Maybe.

Maybe.

  • Mulder is ready to die for the truth, but he won’t ask anyone else to.

xfiles truth marita mulder nod

  • The best of them just do as Scully does, ignore him, and risk their lives anyway.

xfiles truth gibson testifying

  • ‘Do you know this human puppy?’

xfiles truth mulder do you know puppy

  • Guys.
xfiles truth mulder puppy table

Propose to me like this or don’t propose to me at all.

  • Mulder has two modes: ‘So chill you think I’m asleep right now’ and ‘I am in the presence of an alien, let’s flip some tables.’
He hates watching his friends put themselves in danger for him, but having someone to go after brings him back to life.

For the first time in this trial, he’s not aimless. He can do something more than watch his friends put themselves in danger for him.

  • Whenever Mulder struggles against people who try to hold him back, I think of the opening of “One Breath” and how Scully’s life became his reason to fight.
  • “We were never gonna win.” He is so convinced that this is how he dies.
  • We go a whole season without Mulder’s smile, and this is how they make it up to us.
A plague on the house of the lighting department.

A plague on the house of the lighting department.

  • Mulder is so selfless. I want to punch him in his beautiful, half-shadow face. Monica and Doggett are volunteering to risk their lives, which is not the same as forcing Marita to risk hers. He has people now. It’s okay to let them help.
  • “What’s left for us on the X-Files?” Doggett is the Scully of Basement 2.0, and not just because he’s a skeptic. He’s in this to bring Mulder back. Mulder’s life depends on proving the worth of his work on the X-Files, but it’s also pulling further away from the X-Files every time: First, he could save the work by leaving it, and now the people he trusted to carry it on can only save him by leaving it behind. His life keeps outgrowing and outpacing this job, because people like Scully refuse to listen to the idea that he’s any less important.
  • “We came to this job to give it our best. It’s the way we’re gonna leave.” Mulder and Scully attract such quality people.

xfiles truth monica give it our best

  • “They control the game. They own it.” “Then let’s shove it up their ass.” Imagine a whole season of Mulder and Doggett just talking to each other.
  •  Mulder looks almost sad when Doggett puts himself on the line and says that Mulder couldn’t have killed Knowle Rohrer, but he respects it, too.

xfiles truth mulder couldn't have killed this man

  • Kallenbrunner spends this whole trial tearing down Mulder’s work only to praise Doggett for having a distinguished record. What he really means is that until recently, Doggett didn’t step outside the box. He’s applauding Doggett to shame Mulder, and Doggett is having none of it.

xfiles truth doggett distinguished record

  • Doggett says “thank you” like he’s going to rip this guy’s head off.
  • He doesn’t doubt Mulder’s integrity, even though they disagree. The ability to hold that tension is the basis of the show. That’s why Scully became Mulder’s partner.
  • How dare anyone use baby goat’s sincerity against him?
  • “We’re trying a man for murder, not taking a trip down memory lane.” Speak for yourself, Kallenbrunner, this is a finale.
  • What are finales for if not watching Mulder struggle to hold it together at the thought of his son? Never mind, I want the murder trial back.

xfiles truth mulder birth son

  • Solid NO to this pain.

xfiles truth scully baby william

  • “You don’t care about that child or what Scully had to sacrifice. You’re only too happy she had to give it up so there’s no proof… You don’t care what these people have sacrificed over the last nine years—what’s been lost to their cause. You make a mockery of it, gladdened it proves your point.”
xfiles truth monica what is the point

“To destroy a man who seeks the truth, or to destroy the truth so no man can seek it? Either way, you lose.”

  • SLAY, MONICA. She’s right, obviously, and she’s applying a Scully point to a Mulder problem. Scully’s argument hinges on the fact that right now, the people right in front of them outweigh any other objective. But for Mulder, even the most far-reaching objectives of this fight are still very personal, because the men they’re up against don’t care about the lives in their way. They’d use a baby to their own ends.
Reyes out.

Mulder gets why Scully likes her.

  •  Scully doesn’t care what Monica does or who she does or who she has to grease; she needs those records for Mulder.
  • “I found it.”
She's so excited. And her hair looks flawless and she's not even trying.

She’s so excited. And her hair looks flawless and she’s not even trying.

  • You’re in contempt!” Good comeback, Sculls.

ethel beavers did it

  • Mulder (literally) won’t stand for these guys. They don’t deserve it.
xfiles truth mulder all rise

Skinner looks so confused.

  • “I’d like to congratulate you on succeeding where so many before you have failed. A bullet between the eyes would have been preferable to this charade. But I’ve learned to pretend over the past nine years—to pretend that my victories mattered only to realize that no one was keeping score. To realize that liars do not fear the truth if there are enough liars. That the devil is just one man with a plan but evil, true evil, is a collaboration of men, which is what we have here today. If I am a guilty man, my crime is in daring to believe that the truth will out and that no one lie can live forever. I believe it still. Much as you try to bury it, the truth is out there. Greater than your lies, the truth wants to be known. You will know it. It’ll come to you, as it’s come to me faster than the speed of light.You may believe yourselves rid of your headache now and maybe you are… but you’re only done it by cutting off your own heads.”
  • What an exit speech. Mulder stays quiet for so long, but when he does decide to speak up against the conspirators, it’s all “No government agency has jurisdiction over the truth” and “Evil, true evil, is a collaboration of men.” Which it is—the enemy has never been the aliens. It’s always been the men in suits—but the act of collaboration has robbed them of their individual identities. CSM doesn’t even have a full name. Mulder and Scully are the thorn in the FBI’s side because they’ve only made each other more human, so that the conspirators can’t take them down without proving their own inhumanity. There are enough liars here, sure, but they’ve lost so much of themselves that they’re worth less together than Scully and Mulder are worth on their own.

xfiles truth mulder truth is out there

  • He still believes that the truth is out there. The X-Files is about people who chase the truth but so rarely find it but keep chasing it anyway, and that’s so much of why this show never leaves me.
  • That and Gillian Anderson crying.
xfiles truth scully couch crying

The camera never breaks from her. It doesn’t need to. All that matters right now is what it would do to Scully to lose Mulder again.

  • Scully can’t even answer the phone. She looks so lost and small. I like that she trusts someone else to grab it without having to ask.
  • No one in their lives is going to let this stand. They all ship it way too hard.
  • “I’m here with Skinner.” Did baby goat think Mulder wouldn’t trust his motives until he knew Skinner was there too?
  • “We’re getting you out of here.”
xfiles truth mulder we're getting you out of here

Yeah, Mulder, people want to help you. Get used to it.

  • So proud of Doggett for breaking the law without a second thought. When we met John Doggett, he was lying because the FBI told him to, and now he’s defying the FBI in service of the truth. This is what this job does to people if they let it.
  • Scully wears an oversize coat one more time for science.
xfiles truth scully mulder none of you safe now

As soon as Mulder is at her side, she closes off to everyone else and turns to him.

  • Touching each other. No wasted time.

xfiles truth scully mulder none of you will be safe

  • Mulder doesn’t have people to say goodbye to in the same way that Scully does. Skinner and Gibson are just about it. Monica and Doggett are in his camp, but they aren’t his friends to the same extent that they’re Scully’s friends, and his parents and sister are dead. Scully has a mom and two brothers, at least one of whom seems to care that she exists. But it’s Scully who runs off without looking back and Mulder who reaches out. It’s Mulder who pats Gibson on the cheek, Mulder who’s always surprised that people are willing to put themselves on the line for him, Mulder who wants to make himself small so others will be big and Scully who wants Mulder to be free. Scully has people; Mulder has ghosts. Mulder needs Scully; Scully chooses to need Mulder, every time. She has what she came for here.

xfiles truth mulder pats gibson cheek

  • “Where are you going?” “To see a man about the truth.” Mulder’s dialogue in this episode is absolute gold.
  • Doggett saves the poster first.
I let out an actual wail.

I let out an actual wail.

  • It’s like he’s keeping it safe for us all. That poster matters—it says something about Mulder that his motto isn’t “I believe” but “I want to believe.” The truth can’t be wished into existence. As a scientist, Scully knows that, but one of the reasons she and Mulder fit together so well is that Mulder’s always known it too—that his search has always been in that gap between desire and proof, believing that what’s actually true is more important than what he wants the truth to be.
  • BUT he also tells the Gunmen that he wants to change this truth. Not everything is permanent. Scully makes him believe that he can do more than make the truth known—he can make it better. They’re both willing to see things as they are, but they’re not passive about it. The truth can’t be wished, but it might be able to be worked.
  • The Gunmen are hallucinations, so I’ll give them a pass on saying things they’d never say. Mulder’s subconscious is just working through how much he wants to disappear with Scully and never look back.
  • Also bye.
He's so tender. This kiss isn't to prove anything to her; he just loves her and has her back and is so HAPPY ABOUT THAT please throw me off a cliff

He’s so tender. This kiss isn’t to prove anything to her; he just loves her and finally has her back and he’s HAPPY ABOUT THAT please drive this car over me

  • Replace Matthew McConaughey with Mulder in this tweet.
  • “Pueblos. Anasazi Indian. Abandoned 2,000 years ago. Nobody knows why.” “Yeah, Mulder, but what are we doing here?”
Dammit Mulder, cut the crap.

Dammit Mulder, cut the crap.

  • White t-shirt, I’ve missed you most of all.

xfiles truth mulder white t shirt

  • “I hoped and prayed you were dead, you chain-smoking son of a bitch.” Scully and Mulder have parallel insults for CSM. They’re so cute when they’re hating someone together.

xfiles truth scully chain smoking sob

  • “You’ve even refused to testify what you learned, even though it would have saved your life. You damned me for my secrets, but you’re afraid to speak the truth.” Ugh, fine, that’s fair.
Mulder, look at her. How could you leave her out of anything?

Mulder, look at her. How could you leave her out of anything?

  • “You call me afraid? Look at you sitting in the dark like a fossil.” At least Mulder doesn’t hide from the truth. He’s out there making an effort.
  • Old white guy calls Indians the original shadow government and then invites Scully to sit on his lap. CSM is really outdoing himself in the villainy department.
  • “You don’t have to hear this.” “No, I want to hear it, Mulder.” Scully hasn’t had to do anything at any step of this partnership. She’s chosen to stand by Mulder and accept the risks from day one. Mulder lives with what this job has taken from her by giving her the freedom to walk away, but he should also know by now that she never will. She’s in this fight with him.
  • And Monica’s in it with Doggett. Partners.
xfiles truth monica doggett guns

You two are welcome to just turn around and make out at any time.

  • At last the magnetite claims Knowle Rohrer.

30 rock rural juror never forget you

  • They want to help, but it’s always going to be Mulder and Scully for themselves in the end.
xfiles truth mulder doggett get in the car

We have to go hold each other in a motel room, it’s KIND OF OUR THING

  • I’m already crying (again).
Rainy motel to rainy motel.  A snake eating its own tail.

Rainy motel to rainy motel. A snake eating its own tail.

  • Has anyone ever DIED because of TV parallels
xfiles pilot mulder scully bed

He told her that nothing else mattered to him

xfiles truth mulder scully bed

and now he has nothing else but her.

  • The intimacy in Scully’s voice when she asks what Mulder is thinking. She’s never going to stop reaching out to him.
  • “I’m a guilty man. I failed in every respect. I deserve the harshest punishment for my crimes.” Mulder is still dealing with the trauma of his torture, but he internalized it differently than the military planned. They should have known that Mulder is used to being called a failure, and it’s only ever made him think more closely about what kind of success is worth the cost.
  • “I believe that I sat in a motel room like this with you when we first met, and I tried to convince you of the truth. And in that respect, I succeeded.” Can we celebrate this? They did it. He didn’t give up when she questioned him; she didn’t give up when he tried to push her away. Mulder trusted Scully to keep listening when no one else did, and now she believes. They both won this one.
  • “But in every other way, I failed.” “You don’t believe that, either.”
Scully believes in aliens, Mulder, not your guilt.

Scully believes in aliens, Mulder, not your self-doubt.

  • “You wouldn’t tell me. Not because you were afraid or broken, but because you didn’t want to accept defeat.” Scully knows him. That’s literally what he said to X. If Mulder was afraid that knowing the truth would crush her spirit, I think it’s because damaging her hope would, in turn, crush his. Mulder’s spirit can’t be broken if Scully’s isn’t.
  • “Why would I accept defeat? Why would I accept it, if you won’t?” Mulder never stops—it’s a combination of work ethic and passion, and it fuels Scully on both ends of the spectrum; she understands his ability to keep going when there’s nothing to put their backs up against, but he also inspires her to find a reason to fight. He is that reason. “Mulder, you say that you’ve failed, but you only fail if you give up. And I know you—you can’t give up. It’s what I saw in you when we first met.”
That memory makes him smile.

The memory of their innocent baby selves makes him smile.

  • “It’s what made me follow you.” She’s just bringing him back to life over here.
PUPPY

PUPPY

  • “Why I’d do it all over again.”
xfiles truth scully do it all over again

She wouldn’t change a day.

  • “And look what it’s gotten you.”
Mulder, it's okay. You can stop blaming yourself for everything now.

Mulder, it’s okay. You can stop blaming yourself for everything now.

  • “And what has it gotten you?” The loss goes both ways. “Not your sister. Nothing that you’ve set out for. But you won’t give up, even now.”
xfiles truth scully mulder hands

He still believes that if he quits now, they win—and with that date on the wall, he’s right.

  • “You’ve always said that you want to believe. But believe in what, Mulder? If this is the truth that you’ve been looking for, then what is left to believe in?” Scully’s with Mulder all the way, but can he even find an ideal behind this fight anymore? If he’s fighting to change the truth, then the truth itself can’t be what he falls back on. What’s left?
  • “I want to believe that the dead are not lost to us. That they speak to us as part of something greater than us—greater than any alien force. And if you and I are powerless now, I want to believe that if we listen to what’s speaking, it can give us the power to save ourselves.” They can save themselves, but not alone. They can be together and put each other first only if they don’t lose sight of everyone else. Mulder’s worldview and Scully’s priorities need each other.
  • “Then we believe the same thing.”
And they're both SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

And they’re both pretty bashful and excited about what that means, which is that they get at least six more episodes.

  • He has the strength of her beliefs.

xfiles truth mulder cross necklace

  • STILL HIS CONSTANT
xfiles truth mulder thumb scully lips

OKAY BYE

  •  Mulder makes the first move, but Scully affirms it and leans into it.
xfiles truth scully mulder bed

That sounds about right.

xfiles truth scully mulder bed noses

SHE RUBS HER NOSE AGAINST HIS. Show this to the aliens and I guarantee they will cry and call off the colonization. Problem solved. Revival retooled to be about Scully and Mulder playing tambourine across the country.

  • The rest of us don’t even deserve beds, to be honest.
xfiles truth scully mulder bed leg

He’s just wrapping himself around her.

  • “Maybe there’s hope.” Scully and Mulder are on the run. They’ve lost their jobs, they’ve lost their child, and the message they choose to leave us with is hope. Cancer and abduction can’t cancel out baseball diamonds; funerals and bees don’t get the last say over root beer, Superstars of the Super Bowls, “Smile, Scully,” not-stolen bouquets, towers of furniture, arms extended as invitations to dance. There are rainy cemeteries, but there are reasons to laugh in them in the middle of the night. There’s someone waiting on the couch for you when you’re ready to give up. None of this means that everything is okay right now; none of it guarantees that everything will work out later. But life keeps going. This is what Scully and Mulder are to each other—not the end of the fight, but the calm in the middle of it all. They’re “the light in the dark places.” Thanks for that, Chris Carter.

x files pilot mulder scully meet

I’m back! AND SO ARE MULDER AND SCULLY.

It’s been so long since my last post that you all probably gave up on me, but my job has taken up almost all of my free time, and I wanted to get this one right. It’s a finale. But it’s not the finale, because Gillian’s about to go red again and David is crying at new scripts and everything is great. And I want to say thanks. (I will be writing up I Want to Believe, but having seen it, this feels like a more appropriate time.)

It’s been almost a year since I started watching The X-Files. In that time, I’ve lost my job and found a far better one. I’ve met the best people and watched Gillian Anderson kiss David Duchovny onstage, twice. I’ve gotten too little sleep on some nights and taken too many sadness naps on others. I’ve seen those reddit posts about how I’m exactly what you were like at 14. I’m 26. I know what you mean, I hope. And I appreciate it more than I can say. I’m glad to have helped even one person remember what it felt like to watch this show for the first time, and I’m so grateful to have been embraced by this fandom from day one. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with those early posts, when I actually only wrote about times when they could literally make out. I didn’t know Mulder and Scully well enough to write a novel about the car scene in “Tooms.” How did you have the patience to know that I’d get there?

The friends who introduced me to this show came over to watch the finale, and when they left, one of them said, “I’m so glad you’ve taken to The X-Files like… a Kelly to The X-Files.” Yes. It’s been a uniquely all-consuming thing for me—a “singular passion,” as Deep Throat would say. (I took a Myers Briggs test and it told me I have the same personality as Fox Mulder, and then I read every word of the description nodding and crying at these insightful paragraphs about Mulder, which proves their point, really.) And sharing this experience with all of you has made it something much bigger for me. It’s pushed me to sit with scenes that need a little extra thought until I’ve figured them out. It’s given me a reason to pause and the best excuse to marathon; in the end, I think these posts made me watch this show both faster and slower than I would have on my own. I was never watching alone, even when it was 1:15 am and I was the only person in my apartment and it felt like the right time to watch “Home.”

Thanks for watching with me. Thanks, at the most selfish level, for making me feel appreciated on days when I needed it. Thanks for loving Mulder and Scully, and thanks for believing that I’d love them. Thanks for never giving up on this show. This revival is all thanks to your hard work. You kept me honest, you made me a whole person, and I owe you everything.

104 comments

  1. “The rest of us don’t even deserve beds, to be honest.” Hahaha! Best line in anything ever. And true, so very true. Gold star for you.

    Weird to think that when you started this nobody had a clue that by next January, after like fifteen years, there’d be a new series coming our way. If it turns out you did something like this for Twin Peaks in 2014 then you officially have magic powers.

    Also I’m hoping that Mitch Pileggi takes on board your advice about exactly how important the ‘DAD!Skinner’ aspects of Skinner are to the show.

  2. Beautiful. Kelly, you are just apt at putting into words what us Philes want to say, but just can’t. Bravo, babe! You deserve every award, ever for Times Mulder And Scully Should Have Made Out.

  3. I’m gonna be late for work and I don’t care. I had to read this before anything else.

    I’m all teary now. You took me back to that night when alone in my room (I was 18) I watched the finale and tears were rolling down my face, in a sadness that was only mine, because no one in this island knew what I was feeling. Nobody from my “real life” understood my love for The X-Files and I had to live that moment by myself. But that night I kept hope alive and I kept friends, wonderful people that has been with me for more than a decade even if we live an ocean away.

    And knowing now that we get six more episodes, The Truth has a whole new meaning. This journey never ends, it feels like that and it will feel that way for a while, I know.

    I can’t say anymore. It’s all feelssss…

  4. It’s been 15 minutes since I found you. And you have reminded me exactly what it was like to be 14. I needed that right now. Thank you.

  5. Worth waiting for- your post about The Truth and six more episodes of the Puppy and Queen Show. Because coincidence, I watched all nine seasons along with you, most episodes for the first time. I’m not an uncritical fan, but I am a wholly unabashed fan. Thanks for your part in creating my world of X-files hope.

  6. Worth every second! A plague on the house of the lighting department.<— Word! 😛 Damn it lighting department Love the entire post :). It reminded me of my first watch of the Truth. Looking forward to your look at IWTB.

  7. Oh Kelly, it’s been a wonderful opportunity to revisit my favorite show after a decade, and plus we all could finally see it happening again, together. It’s like a time-spell, the clock has turned on our side, giving us one more chance to see the magick of what light in the darkness might mean in this world. Thanks for everything and be happy (preferably with your own Mulder), you deserve!

    1. Oh I love the way you put that.

      I feel the same way, like I’m actually being given a chance to step back into my childhood with the new series.

  8. I discovered your site on Friday and spent the whole day reading and laughing, filled with nostalgia remembering so many episodes I’d forgotten, and reliving it all through new eyes. The X Files meant a lot to me over the years- I kind of grew up with the show. I started watching at 15 with my mom. I kept watching all through college; my roommates all knew better than to touch the VCR on Sunday nights (it had switched to Sundays by about my freshman year). I remember I had recruited all the girls in my dorm to watch with me and we were all so shocked by Leonard Betts’ revelation! I remember watching Requiem my senior year at my husband’s house (he was my fiance then), and being annoyed by his roommates for talking over it. They just did NOT GET how important it was to me. The following summer I got married and my husband and I moved to California; he wanted to work in TV or movies and he had gotten a job at NewsCorp’s new interactive division. Because I was such a fangirl, he requested to work on the X Files and was working on doing website updates. When the dotcom bubble collapsed, he went to Fox proper and kept working on the X Files site, which was really cool because we got to visit the set and I remember meeting Robert Patrick and some of the other actors. By the time the show wrapped, we had just had our first child. Now that child is 13. Wow, I feel old. What has been so cool to me in reading your reviews is realizing that the show is still special; it wasn’t just my generation that was touched by it. I love that.

    I was late to the party on Dr. Who (my family and I binge watched the entire reboot over the course of several months in 2013/2014!) and also on Buffy (never watched it while on air, but obsessed over it on DVD/Netflix). But XFiles will always be special, because it was my FIRST epic sci-fi love, and because I actually remember watching them on TV- there’s something special about that.

    If you aren’t yet a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, may I recommend that as something you should try next? It is another life-ruiner, but you will love it. Season 5 finale makes me cry EVERY TIME.

    Thank you for doing this; I have so enjoyed reading your thoughts! Whatever show you decide to do next, I’m jumping in with you!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this! I love that The X-Files has marked so many milestones in your life. (And how cool that you had the chance to go on set and meet Robert Patrick!) That was really sweet of your husband to help enable your fangirling. I’m so grateful to have found the show now–it’s definitely every bit as relevant.

      I’m a big Doctor Who fan (though XF is now my number one by a wide margin), and I’m on season 5 of Buffy–my Buffy viewing keeps getting interrupted, but I absolutely love the show. The same friends who introduced me to XF are yelling at me to make time to finish BTVS, so I’ll do that soon. And I’m thinking my next big post series will probably be on The West Wing, though my next show to watch is definitely The Fall. And Hannibal. Give me Gillian.

      1. OHHHH The West Wing. How I loved (and then resented) that show. It took a nosedive after Sorkin (and Rob Lowe) left, introducing characters I absolutely could not made to care about, and began to rely heavily on Allison Janney. Fortunately she’s a really good reason to keep watching something, so I did. You will ADORE C.J. Cregg. ADORE.

        And as for Hannibal, well… I’m not crazy about what Gillian’s doing with her character. Same as I’m not crazy about her Stella Gibson on The Fall, though I may be the only one? I know how brilliant she is, so it’s kind of maddening.

      2. I love Buffy season 5! I think it might be my favorite season, although it’s hard to pick a favorite! I saw the show as an adult, so I think I related more to the season 5-7 challenges of growing up than to the season 1-3 Buffy/Angel angst! Season 4 was kind of the bridge year. The season 5 finale is one of my all-time favorite episodes of TV ever.

        If you’re not a Firefly fan yet you’ll have to get into that too- and you might also enjoy Veronica Mars. Though I’m sure your XF friend fans (good people, sounds like) are already on you about those too!

        My husband and I just started watching Duchovny’s new show Aquarius. I hate to say it but his face is so stiff it looks like maybe he had some bad botox injections or something. I am not the type to even notice that stuff but he just doesn’t look the same to me. But he is also playing kind of a stiff, old-school cop type of character so maybe that is just how he’s playing it.

      3. I think DD’s Aquarius look is due more to the unflattering haircut than anything else. He’s looking gooood so far as Revival Mulder.
        And I’m two seasons into VMars but got derailed when the roommate with DVDs left… must fix this.

  9. What can I say? This is yet another wonderful round of “you took the words right out of my mouth.” Though I was not prepared for the part where Puppy said “I smelled you coming Clarice” and you wrote “but I’m not on that show yet.” Thankfully, I managed to aim my iced tea away from my computer. I hope you manage to find the time to watch “I Want to Believe” before the glorious Revival in January (happy belated birthday to meeeeeeee). In the meantime I will happily keep up on your X-Files Friday’s segments. They truly are the highlight of my week 🙂

      1. January 10th baby! And let me tell you how I already have my X-Files Revival parties planned. A girlfriend and I will be watching “I Want to Believe” while playing the board game in the very near future to celebrate/prepare. I will promise you one thing about that movie…better lighting department 😉

  10. This post was so worth waiting for. And that much more enjoyable with the knowledge that we are getting a new batch of episodes. This response will be long, because yes.

    PUPPY’S HERE.
    That was such a great “entrance” for him. Never let it be said that Carter (with a big assist from Kim Manners) lacks a flair for the dramatic.

    This is killing him.
    AND ME. Jfc, Carter. Pretty sure I nearly came out of my skin with, “OH MY GOD IF YOU DON’T LET THEM BE TOGETHER IN THIS FINALE, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN.”

    (surreptitiously checks neck for Alaskan ice worms)
    Hahahaha. I just watched that episode, so this is extra funny to me.

    I’m not even on that show yet.
    *snort* But at the time, this was a nod to the criticism that the character of Scully bore too much resemblance to Clarice. Full circle, baby.

    Scully NEEDS THIS.
    SO DO I. And at this point, Carter was forgiven. Because holy… epic… kiss.

    Scully somehow looks even more in love with him
    There are aspects of this scene (and episode) where I think real life bled through and helped the acting. Not saying Gillian was in love with David, but she’s readily acknowledged missing him during S9. I think she was really happy to have him back, which only added to their natural chemistry.

    We’ve lost the couch and apartment 42 and the big cell phones, but we’ll never lose “Mulder, it’s me”
    *wibble* (And never, EVER, apparently, thanks to Gillian.)

    “Our son, Mulder. I gave him up. Our son. I’m so afraid you could never forgive me.”
    Brutal. This scene is just…

    Look who’s picked up Scully’s “can’t keep my mouth closed when I look at my partner” thing.
    Mmmff. I think David is never better than when he’s working with Gillian. Never. She brings out his best. Which is fascinating, if you look at it over the long view, because when the show started, he was The Guy and she was a lost little girl for the most part. She was just trying to keep up. But over the years, she just became an astonishing actor, and by this point he was largely taking his cues from her.

    Walter Skinner, though.
    For serious real. What a character arc.

    And I love that the finale gathers everyone together to defend the man the FBI hid in a basement, because while his actual life is found in his work, the worth of that life is found in the people who’ll fight for it.
    Wow! What a great way of looking at it.

    The “Paper Clip” shirt is still the best possible thing Mulder could have worn for four days straight.
    Did he ever wear anything that loose-fitting in any other episode? It’s so unlike his style.

    This is your one in five billion speaking.
    As usual, I was right there with her. I really hated that he did this to her. That said, this was a great scene.

    Mulder and Scully attract such quality people.
    I think I may have said this to you before, but I’ve always loved Doggett and Reyes. I never understood why so many fans didn’t.

    Solid NO to this pain.
    Co-sign.

    SLAY, MONICA.
    Annabeth Gish killed this scene. I mean, she left it whimpering in a corner with its tail between its legs. So good.

    All that matters right now is what it would do to Scully to lose Mulder again.
    *cries with her*

    Has anyone ever DIED because of TV parallels
    If they have, ten-to-one it was from this show. Also, this scene. THIS SCENE.

    The rest of us don’t even deserve beds, to be honest.
    I got tendinitis in my thumb from rewinding this ending. Holy mother of all endings.

    Gillian’s about to go red again
    I sure hope that actually happens this time. True Scully red, not that half-assed abomination from IWTB. Gillian can be blonde for the rest of her life if she wants (although I think she looks so much better red), but Scully is a redhead, dammit.

    watched Gillian Anderson kiss David Duchovny onstage, twice.
    My jealousy of this will forever know no bounds.

    Thank YOU for these terrific, insightful posts. It had been a long time since I’d thought about the show in this depth, and you reawakened my passion for it. And lo, then there was a revival. And it was good.

    P.S. I’m currently on my third-ever re-watch, because I am introducing my roommate to the show. She doesn’t like “scary,” so she was skeptical. But I convinced her it wasn’t much scarier than Buffy, and now we’re up to “Beyond The Sea” (which was every bit as amazing as I remembered), and she’s into it. Hurrah!

    1. I’mmmmm so jealous that your friend is into it. I just went to visit a friend in Alaska and tried to introduce her to the show, but it didn’t really work. We didn’t have enough time. But we did watch “Ice,” appropriately, and she liked that.

      Epic kiss. EPIC kiss. And I like what you said about Gillian being happy to have David back and how it played into their chemistry. The way Scully and Mulder look at each other is like they’re just drinking each other up, like it’s been years since they’ve seen each other and they don’t know how long they have. Agh.

      Also, “I think David is never better than when he’s working with Gillian. Never. She brings out his best. Which is fascinating, if you look at it over the long view, because when the show started, he was The Guy and she was a lost little girl for the most part. She was just trying to keep up. But over the years, she just became an astonishing actor, and by this point he was largely taking his cues from her.” YES. ALL OF THAT. So proud of the way she found herself and took control.

      I don’t think he ever wore anything as loose as the Paper Clip shirt again, but I’ll continue to cherish our time with it.

      It took me honestly like two weeks to work through the “that’s what I’m fighting for, Mulder, you and me” scene, because I’m with you and with Scully. I knew Mulder had his reasons, but it took me the longest time to tease them out, and I still think he wasn’t thinking everything through.

      I love Doggett and Reyes too! I’m bummed it’s looking like we won’t see them in the revival–I wouldn’t want them in every episode, but I’d like AN episode. Just to catch up.

      Thaaaat ending. Still crying about it.

      GIVE US SCULLY RED, GILLIAN.

      1. Well, we just watched “Genderbender,” which made even my very accepting roomie go, “WTF was that?” LOL. I so want to skip the terrible episodes, but I feel like that would be cheating her, so I suffer through them.

        Butting into a comment you made above—I would/will be thoroughly fascinated to see what you have to say about The West Wing, which is another of my all-time favorites. (Although, full disclosure, I bailed before the last two seasons and still haven’t gotten around to watching them.) I will warn you, however, it will eat your brain. So make sure you get through Buffy and whatever else (have you seen Firefly?) before you tackle that monster.

    2. Totally butting into your conversation but I am introducing my kids to the show (they like scary so it’s okay!) and we just watched “Beyond the Sea” and I was blown away by Gillian’s acting; when she says “I’ll believe…if you let me talk to him” and her lip is all quivery- I almost cried! But we did skip Genderbender! Haha. I just remember that being one of the only overtly sexual episodes I didn’t want to show the kids! And I also remember it being preeeeetttty bad.

      1. This is the premise of Gender Bender: Gender-changing Amish kill people after sex but can heal people with goo and are in cahoots with aliens.

        ???

  11. The Truth. The End. So sad. Although by the time the finale aired, I was ready for the show to be over. And after a 13 year hiatus, I am ready for it to come back. What I remember most about the finale,was Mulder telling Scully that Skinner had told him about William. I was perturbed at that, because I felt that wasn’t his place to give that information. That was owned by Scully. I never considered it from the perspective of Skinner trying to relieve Scully of even more pain.

    And this “A plague on the house of the lighting department.” YES! I remember yelling at the tv because the reunion kiss was so darkly lit, I couldn’t hardly see it. Keep in mind, this was back before all the big flat screen tvs, and that may help, but on my little 19″, I couldn’t see squat.

    And CSM getting blown up. That jolted me, because it was completely unexpected. I am very curious to see how they bring him back.

    I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts and reliving my own love affair with this show, and having all the feels again. Your insights are thoughtful and have made me consider some things from a different angle. I think this is truly a show for the ages, and that it will continue to garner new fans over the years. Fifty years from now, people will still know what is meant by “You’re a regular Mulder and Scully.”

    Congrats on the new job btw, I’m glad it’s a better one!

    1. Oh, thanks so much!!! I was also annoyed that we were deprived of watching Mulder find out about William/ watching Scully tell him, but I appreciate Skinner’s gesture. The show pretty obviously wrote itself into a corner there and didn’t want to deal with it.

      I used to think that all of my shows were just really dark, and then I realized it was just my old TV. But in XF’s case, the show is ACTUALLY THAT DARK. Thanks, lighting department.

      I wonder how we’ll see CSM again. I’d rather not get a “he cheated death again!” explanation, but I’m not sure WBD can pull off a flashback look at this point, so we’ll see.

      Mmmm, so glad this show will continue pulling in new fans forever.

      And THANKS! It’s much better.

  12. Just wanted to add to the chorus of comments saying how much I’ve enjoyed your posts! I still have all my old labeled VHS tapes with every single episode, and you made me reconnect with a show that meant so much to me so many years ago. That, in my opinion, is the gift of the online fandom: When no one in your ‘real life’ truly understands, you can find great folks online who understand how a show makes its way into your soul and stays with you for life. Mulder and Scully were my original OTP, (I like my love stories epic, tragic, selfless, gorgeous), and every time I discover a new ship, (most recently Oliver/Felicity) I get that same thrill. When you get to sit back and watch magic happen on your television every week, it’s a gift. And I’m so thrilled that we get more X-Files episodes! How often to you get to witness something you thought was gone brought back to life?! Looking forward to more of your thoughts when the new episodes appear!!

    1. Ahh, thanks so much! Same here–the online fandom has made this show so much bigger for me. It’s been the best experience sharing this show with everyone, and I will definitely have all kinds of thoughts when the revival is here. I still can’t believe we get more of The X-Files.

  13. *Like*
    Laugh, tear, the memories.
    I found your first post last year after re-watching the entire series and both movies in an epic binge-watching fest, that took way less time that it should have. And my x-phile fangirl obsession was totally revived.
    I remember sadly thinking that IWTB would be the last installment of Mulder & Scully, and although I loved seeing them, the movie was not all I hoped it would be. Reading your posts definitely made me laugh out loud (many times) and reminiscence through your eyes some of my favorite moments. Thanks for showing me I’m not the only one still carrying a torch for these two crazy FBI Agents.
    And NOW, somehow the Fox gods have decided to revive them for our viewing pleasure. I look forward to your take on the new episodes!

    1. Oh thanks! You’re definitely not the only one still carrying a torch for them. (Even major TV networks are on board this train.) So excited for more Mulder and Scully.

  14. *Like*
    Laugh, tear, the memories.
    I found your first post last year after re-watching the entire series and both movies in an epic binge-watching fest, that took way less time that it should have. And my x-phile fangirl obsession was totally revived.
    I remember sadly thinking that IWTB would be the last installment of Mulder & Scully, and although I loved seeing them, the movie was not all I hoped it would be. Reading your posts definitely made me laugh out loud (many times) and reminiscence through your eyes some of my favorite moments. Thanks for showing me I’m not the only one still carrying a torch for these two crazy FBI Agents.
    And NOW, somehow the Fox gods have decided to revive them for our viewing pleasure. I look forward to your take on the new episodes!

  15. Hi, from Japan

    Thank you so much for your posts. You don’t know how much your site helped me to follow all the epsodes, especially, to find shippy moments of Mulder and Scully. I came back to your place so often and will keep doing so from now on.

    I want a DVD only with Mulder-Scully scenes, I’m that crazy. Your place is my dream-come-true one! So precious and yummy. I can live only with it.

    I’m 64 and dropped out of X-files 30 years ago. I gave up on Mulder-Scully love story then. But a few months ago, Japanese national TV station aired IWTB. OMG! They’re sleeping together while I was away(never give up on a miracle, right?). I hurried back to season 1 and watched all the epsodes to season 9. 202 episodes plus 2 movies, phew! I felt happy but also sad for Mulder and Scully. They are such an amazing, beautiful couple.

    So much work and effort, thank you again.

    Yuko

  16. Oh yay you finished! I love these posts, thank you again for writing about the show! I look forward to your write-up of I Want to Believe.

    UGH upon my recent re-watch I so vividly recalled the… empty feeling I was left with when the finale aired in 2002. I was 17, so for all of my teenage years this show was LIFE. (I mean, it ended beautifully, Mulder and Scully together, on the run, having suffered horrible losses but they are TOGETHER.)

    So it’s fuckin surreal that it’s COMING BACK. It’s unbelievable wish fulfillment. My brother and I text each other with any news, lots of THIS IS HAPPENING. Seriously, any time I need a pick-me-up I need to remember to think about NEW X-FILES.

    I just read that the idea is to gauge interest with the initial 6 episodes, and that everyone is open to longer seasons going forward (likely meaning something like 13 episodes). We’re probably going to get a few more seasons, touch wood. The numbers that this show did back in the day – shows just don’t draw audiences like that anymore. The old fans are still there, and there are so many NEW fans, that it’s got to be a hit. Fox will order as many episodes as they can get if it makes money. Aquarius is a bust, and from what I know of the story, Gillian’s role on Hannibal will likely be done after this season. So they should have ALL THE TIME for more X-Files!

    Finally, my first thought when I heard of the new episodes was holy shit I might get to audition for The X-Files?! GET. OUT. (I’m now an actor in LA.) It’s a long shot that I’ll happen to audition for the show (just one line?!), but I NOW LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THAT IS POSSIBLE. That’s all I ever wanted. (Not that I knew it’s what I wanted. Aren’t those the best things really?)

  17. Kelly, like everyone else, I just want to thank you for all your time and effort with these posts. I discovered your blog while on my rewatch around season 3, and I’ve obsessed over your posts ever since. While I watch an episode, I have your blog open in another window to make sure I catch all the shippy moments. A little stalkerish, but true- ha!!

    I’m now about halfway through season 9 on my rewatch, and am struggling through- your posts make it all a little more bearable though! I’ve got to get going though, if I want to be caught up in time for JANUARY!!!!

    What a perfect time for you to have discovered the X-files, right when it is all happening again! I was a supreme shipper back in the day, and never knew anyone else as crazy about it all as I was- it’s been so fun now discovering all the new blogs and Tumblr pages from younger fans and those who are re-discovering it again. So nice to know there are others out there as obsessed as I am!!

    Well, thank you again, and I can’t wait to keep up with you once the reboot is actually happening!

    1. Hi Corey! I’m so sorry I missed this comment initially–I’d just gotten back from vacation and things at my job had really piled up. But I SO SO SO appreciate your kind words. I’m happy to know these posts have been a companion as you’ve rewatched the show–that’s the dream!
      Isn’t it great how many more outlets we have to talk about this show now??

      THANKS AGAIN.

  18. I just watched all 9 seasons and both movies over the course of 2 months (like an INSANE person). I found your blog by accident when I was googling the deleted kiss scene from Momento Mori, but for fear of spoilers I didn’t click until I finished watching yesterday. Since yesterday afternoon I’ve read every post and cannot say enough about how fantastic it is! You are so incredibly insightful about the steady and beautiful growth of this relationship. And you’re also hilarious. Well done!! My absolutely X-Files obsessed since its originally airing friend and I spent all day exchanging our favorite lines from your blog and either laughing our asses of or looking on in awe at how much you just get it! Since I binge watched without reading any commentary until the end, this has just added so much to the experience! Thank you! Can’t wait for your I Want to Believe recap!

    1. Seriously this has been exactly my past 2 months, down to obsessively googling about the deleted kiss from Momento Mori. I feel like in reading this blog I have found so many of my spirit animals. My husband doesnt get the msr love, he is blind. He thinks its about the “conspiracy” and the monsters.

  19. WoW!! I have been reading X-Files sites and Shipper sites since the hay day of the X-files back in 97 – 2002 and beyond and I have never been more entertained and in agreement more with another writer or blogger. Your commentary on these episodes is not only hilarious, but incredibly insightful. I have been posting links to your page on my Facebook X-Files Shipper group and I’m encouraging all my shipper friends to read your work. This page is so awesome and I’m so glad you’ve gotten on board with the show and are preparing for the revival. I cannot tell you how excited I am that new folks are beginning to jump on board and I hope that all this will make the new show a huge success and it will be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. I can’t wait to see what you have to write about I Want to Believe. I know many people are pretty harsh reviewers of the movie , but I found it to be enjoyable. Also, I’m glad that you are a Reyes and Doggett fan. I always loved Reyes and your insights into Doggetts character has made me like him more. I’ve really enjoyed going back and watching season 8 and 9 and I can’t wait to watch them again after reading all you have written about them!! I just want to than you for your awesome writing. And I too agree about the lighting in this episode. Chris Friggin Carter….
    Oh well, we still got the kiss to end all kisses!! Much like the deleted hallway kiss from Fight the Future (holy toledo, that is one hot kiss!).

    Anyway. Keep up the good work!!!!
    Robin
    The X-Files Shippers Unite : Adventures of Moose and Squirrel

    1. This is so so nice. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ve enjoyed. I’m thrilled to have been able to do this (and even more thrilled that we’re getting more). THANK YOU!

  20. Just wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed your blog. I was a fan of the X files back in the day. I loved David Duchovny but stopped watching it regularly when he left. Then I was even more upset with how the William story was treated that I just blew the entire show off. Never mind that I had other distractions, like having a baby just a few months before the William episode aired.

    Oddly enough, I got motivated to re-watch in 2011 while watching the re-run of the pilot episode of Bones when Booth says to Brennan something along the lines of “Fine you want to be Mulder and Scully? I can do that.”
    Thanks to Netflix it was a wonderful road down memory lane. I have now become obsessed with a proper revival. Mainly because I want CC and company to do a proper closure and deal with the colonization and William. I was so sure that they were going to put out a movie in Dec 2012, the Mayan end date or for the 20th anniversary.
    When it didn’t happen I was very disappointed and decided I needed to get my M&S fix by reading Fanfiction and by just watching David and Gillian in whatever shows and movies they have been in over the last 15 years, Californication, The Jones, Bleak House, Great Expectations, etc. I”ve also been watching The Fall, Hannibal and Aquarius. Ironic that Aquarius and Hannibal are back to back. While they are both decent actors, I wholehaertedly agree that Gillian really developed as an actress towards the end in X-Files. I think they bring out the best in each other as actors. She can emote like nobody’s business, almost on par with Meryl Streep.
    As for The Truth, what Reyes says pretty mush sums it up. It was a good way to end the series. I guess it would have been too much like happiness for Mulder to have been acquitted or had the charges dropped and for them to ride off in the sunset going after their baby.
    I wholeheartedly agree with your assessments of the various episodes, they are spot on. I have actually come to really like Doggett and Reyes and would love to see them in an episode considering they were such a big part of seasons 8 and 9. I would also like to see Sheila Larkin guest star as Margaret Scully. And of course the Lone Gunmen.
    My fear for the revival is that with Chris writing the myth arc episodes, he will not openly deal with William, only dealing with it in a small commentary the way it was done in IWTB. I know traditional happy domesticity is not for M&S but I hated to see them as they were in IWTB. I have a lot to say on IWTB when you get there. I didn’t like it at first, but after a few watches of it, it’s grown on me. It’s one of those movies, you have to watch and then re-watch again and again. It requires introspection. There is also a lot of symbolism to consider as well. I bought the dvd (found it int the $5 bin at Best Buy) which has commentary by Carter and Spotnitz. It’s worth listening to the commentary as it does provide some understanding and background to the movie.

    Look forward to your commentary on IWTB. Thanks again for providing a another place us philes can get our fix.

    BTW, forgot to mention that I saw Gillian and had my photo taken with her at a fan forum she did in Chicago in the fall of 2013. It was to benefit NF, the organization that does research for the disease from which her brother died. She was very nice and down to earth, looking very casual, wearing no makeup. She was only supposed to,stay two hours but stayed much longer taking pictures and signing autographs. I flew to Chicago to attend the event and it was well worth it. My X-Files highlite.. Now if I could just meet DD….

    1. Hi!! Thank you so much! I can’t even imagine how much the “William” story would hurt after just having a baby, but I’m glad you’re back into the show (and I love that the Bones pilot did it! haha). I don’t know if this revival can live up to all of my hopes and dreams, but I’m going to keep hoping anyway.
      Good idea about IWTB commentary–I’ve borrowed the DVD from a friend, so I’ll listen to the commentary before I write that post!
      And aww, I’m so glad you got to meet Gillian and that she stayed longer for everyone. She’s the best.

  21. Hey Kelly! I just came here to say that I’ve finished watching The X-Files yesterday (yes, for the first time) after a three-month hysteria, and my boyfriend not standing me talking about The X-Files anymore hahaha a few weeks ago I found your blog because of the “Millennium” kiss post, and I absolutely loved it! It was like the perfect thing I needed, because I don’t have anyone to talk with about the show – you have no idea how lonely I felt, SO MANY FEELINGS on the run, and no one to share them with – but your blog made me feel included. Your reviews are so funny, and so true to the show, you get it all, and I love the way you see things! Also, I’ve always imagined Mulder as a puppy too, and it cracked me up when I saw you calling him the same thing hahaha
    Anyway, thank you so much for your dedication writing these posts, as I’ve said, I just finished watching the show yesterday and now I’m prepared to read aaaall of your reviews and relive all of the great moments ❤
    Oh, and now we're getting six more episodes, HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! It's still such a long way till January, such a long way of re-watching episodes and waiting for new pictures of them on set to come out… hahaha
    Lots of hugs to you! 🙂

    1. Hi Bree!! Thank you SO MUCH–I am so glad you felt included, because these posts have done the same thing for me. I’ve loved being able to share the experience of watching this show with so many other Philes. And now we’re both all caught up!

      Isn’t it funny how this show just consumes you? I can’t talk about anything other than Mulder and Scully anymore. And now we get six more episodes!! What a gift.

      Hugs back at you!

  22. Woo-hoo! You did it!

    Sorry I’m so late reading this, but I’d just like to say what an absolute pleasure it’s been reading your reviews! I also got into The X-Files “late,” about three years ago now, and it’s so amazing to see how the show can still impact people now. It’s timeless, really. And you really seem to get what the show’s about, which is an extra treat.

    I’m very, very interested to see what you thought of I Want to Believe.

    And good luck surviving until January. I may not.

    -Knife Ink

    1. Ahhh thanks thanks thanks!! I’m very interested to see what I end up writing about IWTB, because my feelings on it have run the gamut in the past week alone. I might not survive until January either, but here’s hoping we can all hold out until then.

  23. Oh Kelly, I am SO GLAD I finally read this. It has gotten even more excited about the revival, which might be dangerous – but hey.

    Idiot: ‘You invited Mulder into your bed’
    Scully: Do we kill him?
    Mulder: Not now.

    This is the BEST. The fact that Mulder and Scully have a physical relationship is the LEAST of these people’s concerns.

    If we’re not discussing the truth, or watching Mulder and Scully in motel rooms touching noses WHATS THE POINT OF ALL THIS? Credit to Monica for pointing this out. May it be entered into The court records in bold print.

    As I have repeatedly stated, this story is not finished. There is more truth seeking to be done, both inside and outside Mulder and Scully’s personal relationship. And judging by the EW photos, it’s gonna be fine. THATS THE TRUTH.

    Can’t wait to ride this crazy magnetite ridden, black oil sliding hair stroking, tambourine playing ship all the way to the end. Because you know we’ve come too far to get off now.

    1. Kate!! Thank you!! Hahah very dangerous, yes, but “maybe there’s hope.” We’ve definitely come too far to get off now.

      Those EW photos ARE THE TRUTH, and the truth is LOTS OF TOUCHING.

  24. Right, so I grok the super busy – which I have been as well lately with getting baby ducks in a row to start film school in the fall and working on a comedy pilot done by students at UW as script supervisor. So I completely missed this post after waiting for it with baited breath for so long! Apologies, Kelly. As usual, beautifully done!

    Here are some thoughts on the finale:
    The cold open is really fun.The appearance of Krycek is fabulous (I love Krycek) and even though he handles the door, it’s clear he’s a ghost and that’s classic X-Files interesting. Fun note: Even though it was not Duchovny being tossed through the glass, it is DD hanging from that rafter.

    Duchovny brings it for each and every scene with Anderson and does better with the courtroom nonsense than I’d expect. He really nails the brainwashing sessions. Particularly when he says “About my son… about his mother” and the final part when he parrots back what the military wants him to believe. It boggles my mind that Duchovny spent the better part 30 minutes sitting in military tribunal with relatively little to do. I will say, however, that for all that Duchovny gets a rap for phoning it in during Season 7 (which I only partially agree with) he did a superb job with his reaction shots, especially with Scully, Gibson, Marita and Reyes.

    Which brings me to Reyes. I don’t have a lot to say about Doggett’s testimony, outside Kallenbrunner’s fawning over Doggett was amusing. Patrick did a wonderful job showing how uncomfortable it made him and his realization that he failed to achieve his objective. Reyes, on the other hand, took Doggett’s declaration of shoving it up their asses and delievered a few knife twists of her own. Gish was confident, indignant, eloquent and a forest fire of righteous indignation.

    In fact, her performance was so phenomenal, they cut a scene in which Skinner tries to convince Mulder to take the stand believing that Monica’s testimony was swaying the judges. I think it was the right call, as her impassioned speech is what made me lament the wasted opportunities for Reyes through the last season and a half.

    All told, the parts of this finale that Carter handled most adroitly was the affirmation and triumph of the Mulder and Scully relationship.

    Stay tuned, because this my next post will be about fixes for the finale. Because I’m a nerd.

    1. David is really good in this episode—especially with Gillian, obviously, but also in his reaction shots to everyone’s testimony. So true! And I’m with you on Monica’s testimony being a real mic drop for the character. She’s good at saying what needs to be said when no one else will, which is a role she was intended to take over for Mulder, I think, but here, even Mulder is silent, which makes her speech even more powerful.

  25. Fixes, or what I tell myself in my head to satisfy my continuity nerd:

    I don’t have any need to have that much clip show in a series finale. I appreciate the clips over watching unadulterated testimony but it feels like too much time was allotted for the clips. We learned nothing fresh out of it and that was a huge fault of the finale, given the utter lack of new information.

    In order for the rest of my fixes to work, I have to address the December 22, 2012 nonsense. The date for colonization is perfectly fine, given that Carter intended to do a series of movies following the end of the series. But the date being the Truth – and that’s it? It’s ludicrous that Mulder would believe that the knowledge of when colonization is scheduled is enough to crush Scully’s spirit. (Personally, I think Duchovny’s delivery of that line means he feels the same way.) I did like your interpretation, Kelly, but more was needed.

    What would have worked much better is if the prophecy from Provenance and Providence was confirmed. By December 22, 2012, Mulder or William must die for colonization to be successful. That is something that would absolutely be terrifying to Scully, with the Sword of Damocles hanging over the heads of the two most important people in her entire life. Now compound that with alien-human replacements in the military and the government (and assuming that all of the world powers are thus infiltrated and corrupted) and we have something truly frightening.

    So working off that, CSM slipped Mulder the security key and the data that allows Mulder to access these plans. CSM does it either because he’s bitter about his failure and is just vindictive enough that he wants Mulder to get caught – he wants to fulfill the prophecy on the side of the aliens.

    The trial is rigged, as Mulder claimed, and the goal is twofold. First, by giving him a trial the alien-human replacements don’t have to tip their hand and can present a fabricated but legitimate claim that they adhered to justice. Second, it’s the perfect opportunity to kill Mulder and pave the way for colonization. Especially now that Scully has has no access to William.

    Mulder doesn’t have to give Scully details right away. In fact, he shouldn’t because it is a better reveal toward the end of the episode and it’s a lovely way of generating some tension. What he should do in telling his touchstone that the game is rigged is be explicit that they aren’t going to lie down and give up. The trial is a way to buy time.

    Having given up their child for adoption (which I still hate, but it’s what we’ve got to work with here), Scully has no reason to be hamstrung. She was woefully inactive in the episode as aired. I have no issues with her doing the autopsy. Scully should get one final autopsy. But what she should have been doing during the trial is working with Doggett and Reyes and Skinner on how to help Mulder escape from the facility.

    Give her something to break into like we’ve seen Mulder do a million times and let her find the weaknesses in the prison. She could do it with Gibson and Doggett/Reyes, as a substitute for the Gunmen. And they should come away with a partial list of who in the U.S. government are alien-human replacements. We don’t even need to see it, just know that it exists.

    Expecting more time to work with insofar as breaking Mulder out of prison, the heartbreaking scene in which Scully learns that Mulder has been sentenced to death can stay. I’d have used the deleted scene with Marita Covarrubias to let Scully know that they have to get him out RIGHT NOW. Scully collects Gibson and goes to the rendezvous location and Doggett, Skinner and Reyes go to spring Mulder. I actually liked that Kersh gave them some necessary aid, so I’d leave that in.

    (The deleted scene with Marita: From the script direction “Scully is lying on top of her bed with her clothes on. The same clothes that we last saw her in. Camera panning from her sleeping face, where her hand holds the cross on the necklace — panning down her arm to her hand, where she holds her handgun.” Marita knocks on the door and tells Scully that Mulder would be murdered in his cell and it would be made to look like suicide. When Scully asks why she was trying to save Mulder, Marita replied, “Because Mulder did the same for me.”)

    Having shared what he learned at Mount Weather with Scully, the two of them confront CSM at the ruins as a team. In lockstep, because that’s where they are after 9 freaking years. What they want is a way to prevent colonization and what CSM wants is to gloat that they are powerless because he cannot fathom the idea that Mulder is better than him. Mulder doesn’t want to save his own skin, he wants to save the world. And Mulder has Scully, and CSM has no one.

    In the final, wonderful scene, about the only thing I’d change is working the preceding fixes into the conversation. Mulder questions the magnitude of arranging a resistance to colonization when every single person who knew for the previous 50+ years had concentrated on saving themselves and failed to predict or adapt to the new method of colonization. He can still feel like he failed because he foolishly had hope that the Syndicate had a plan to resist and CSM disabuses him of that notion. Scully provides his center, his foundation of strength and faith, and can still be the reason he believes in hope.

    See? I’m a nerd. Who cannot wait for the new episodes, even if I’m a bit leery about where we’ll find Mulder and Scully in their relationship. Hopefully Carter will remember that the true strength of the series was their unbreakable bond.

    1. WOW, I love this! I totally agree that saying Mulder or William had to die would be a much better explanation than the date. I did my best to rationalize it, but I agree that it’s really not all that much worse than anything they’ve already seen/ expected. Your idea would be a lot more effective. And I would have loved to see them confront CSM as one unit. Love this whoooole idea, really. Thanks so much for sharing!!

      1. Thanks! Needless to say, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this show. And a lot of time thinking about ways that would have (hopefully) received less criticism in seasons 8 & 9, especially the finale. When I write, I’m character driven rather than plot driven – and more prone to use plot to explore characters. That probably explains the above!

        I assume that you’re able to see my email address from the fill in details part of the commenting. Toss me an email and I’ll send you some of my X Files fanfic. (It’s nowhere online as of right now.) Among other things, I address the unfinished sentence at the end of “Never Again”; explore the ramifications of “Irresistible”, “Orison”, “Grotesque”, “Paper Hearts”, “Milagro”, and “Sein Und Zeit”/”Closure”; and, of course, what we don’t see in “all things”. Because I’m a nerd, writing X Files fanfic helps me when I’m having trouble writing my own projects. I’d love your opinion on them.

  26. This was epic. I binge-read all your posts over the past few days and I literally couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time. It was amazing seeing Mulder and Scully’s relationship unfold all over again, in just the best and most important moments of the series.

  27. Also! I LOVE how completely you believe in the show and the writers, and how insightful you are into the story and the characters. There are a lot of people that say the last seasons were terrible and talk about how the writers were “wrong” for so many things, and that Doggett and Reyes were awful, etc. But I love your positive and optimistic attitude and really it has given me a new light on those last seasons. So many feelings right now!

    1. Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you enjoyed–it’s been great to share my first time watching the show with everyone. I really appreciate your comments on optimism, because I AM a little obsessed with trying to justify why things happen. It wasn’t always easy, and there are things I would change, but I didn’t really want to focus on those during my first watch. I think there’s a lot of good in the last seasons! Anyway, thanks again!

  28. This is so great, I love this site. I’ve been an X-phile since I was about 14 too and I’m about to turn 30.. :S I’ve never had a person in my life to share this love with and it’s so nice to have an online community that agrees with me! I love your insight, your humour and your passion for this show. You say what I’m feeling and it’s so comforting to know that it’s not just me!!! I just binge watched the entire series again, and it was awesome to have your site to read alongside it.
    Cheers to you… hope you write some stuff about the new eps coming our way… 🙂

  29. uh, this blog is my life. i just read the whole thing in one day. brilliant. you’ve vocalized everything i’ve been thinking the past 15 years since i first watched the show! amen, sister, to all of it.

    please do a separate blog post on your reaction to them being broken up in season 10. i heart your humor, hard core.

      1. Ah yes, I have too few relationships based on Scully! Always, always searching for more.

        One question I always wanted to ask you was if you made your own gifs?

      2. Not for the most part–if you click on them, the ones I did not make (so the vast majority) will take you to the pages where I found them. There are a few here and there that I did make, especially toward the end of the show’s run, because there are fewer gifs from the last few seasons. I’m really inexperienced, though; I just found an unbelievably basic gif-maker and did my best!

  30. I absolutely enjoyed your posts. literally spent an evening reading thru them. so funny and on point. you need to do the other movie. dying to see what you post on it.

      1. Can’t wait! I am a new fan of the show! (I finished everything in 4 weeks I think)
        Then I came on this site and.. you rock girl! I have to say that in some moments you made me laugh so much for your caption under the gif hahah also, you made me realize somethings in some scenes that I didn’t pay attention! Really love this! Thank you for this post! I hope you are going to watch the revival! 😀

  31. This blog was so amazing I obsessively read the entire thing start to finish until 3 am when my eyes were sore and the “You have to be at work at 8am as a serious person” voice in my head kept screaming, but I couldn’t stop. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee write about the reboot. I need more of this jn my life. Also if you like Scandal, please start that blog.

    1. Ahh wow, thank you!! I also sometimes wrote it until 3/ 4/ 5 am with that same “You have to be at work” voice in my head. The things we do for Mulder and Scully. I’m working on my IWTB post when I can, and I definitely do plan to write about the revival!

      I watched the first two seasons of Scandal and then got distracted by (what else?) The X-Files, but I’ll pick it back up eventually! I’m thinking my next series like this might be The West Wing, though.

      1. I feel that we are long lost sisters. I own the entire dvd collection of west wing, even the post911 seasons when things arguably took a turn for the worse.

      2. I think there’s a lot of overlap in fans of XF and The West Wing, which is promising 🙂 I’ve never actually seen TWW (did I just miss the ’90s? Maybe), so I’m really excited to watch!

      3. I cannot *wait* to experience this journey with you. Wait until you get a hold of the Josh Lyman-Donna Moss dynamic, that’s a blog in and of itself. For my entire teens my perfect man was a cross between mulder and josh lyman. Well who’s kidding who, to this day that is my perfect man.

        Meanwhile, I am SO jealous you get to watch these amazing shows from the beginning with fresh eyes. I would love to be able to rewatch xfiles or ww without having seen it before.

  32. Hi Kelly! I just wanted to let you know how much I cherish your blog. I came across it looking for a shipper episode guide after my X-Files interest was rekindled due to the upcoming revival. My high school years were synonymous with X-Files fandom. My room was decorated with posters and novelties. I subscribed to the official magazine and owned the hardcover episode guides. I made a CAKE for the Season 7 premiere. Now I feel the series is like a familiar, comfortable old sweater I’ve found again at the back of my closet.

    Your posts are so insightful and they make me laugh – I always read your review before I watch an episode. Although IWTB left much to be desired (aside from the bedroom scene which is pure gold), I can’t wait to read your thoughts. And January 24th cannot come soon enough.

  33. So I’ve just finished watching The Truth and I cannot begin to explain the mixed emotions I’m feeling! I’m happy and sad and hopeful and excited and in awe of their love.. This is LOVE in its purest form and while I am sad for all they lost, I am so happy that ultimately they have each other. Kelly, your blog has kept me company while I watched the whole show over again and thanks to you, I started to notice all those little details I may not have paid attention to before (hello white tshirt and bouncy stealth run)! I have laughed and wished they’d make out already. I have cursed the lighting department. I have curled up with a quilt and ice cream. I have cried with Scully and screamed NOOOOOO at my screen throughout William. I have freaked out during Roadrunners and Badlaa. I have been in awe of Badass Scully and Badass Monica and I have totally adored Puppy and Baby Goat. I have shipped Mulder and Scully all over again, and totally shipped Doggett and Reyes. And I have discovered how much I like Skinner and the Lone Gunmen. Somehow your blog helped bring out the best of the show. Thanks for being a huge fan, for loving the show as much as I do and for sharing that love with us. I cannot begin to explain how much this show means to me and how appreciative I am of your blog! I can’t wait for Jan 24!!

  34. I loved XF first run, and I am so glad that during my re-watch someone suggested your blog, because it has made me love it even more. I think this is one of the greatest things on the internet. You made me laugh so hard, so many times. And when my heart is broken after Requiem, I just headed back to your review of Millennium, because that ‘Did you hear the one about how I’m gonna kiss you?’ ‘Exciting, right?’ makes me smile every time. Thank you!

  35. Kelly, I feel so lucky to have encountered this site and to have enjoyed this creation. Amazingly, excellently done. Thank you so much.

  36. I started watching when I was 13 years old, halfway through Season 5 (I have no idea how I got into it, but in any case). I was a hardcore shipper, and still am. No other ‘ship has ever come close to my Shipper hysteria as I do for these two (except perhaps Willow and Tara, and that ended poorly and killed part of my soul), and I’m so grateful that you wrote about them with such eloquence and humour! I am looking forward to your reviews for the new ones!!!! Your blog makes me feel like I’m that totally obsessed 15 year old who got a total thrill out of this show. Thank you thank you thank you for your work! ONTO SEASON 10!!!!!

  37. I love and adored The X-Files when it first began. I had every magazine, joined fan run clubs (and the rather disappointing official club) and had my (I am glad I don’t have it now to embarrass myself) fanfiction in the grainy, photocopied booklets. I have my Mulder and Scully action figures and the Barbie and Ken. My hamsters were called Scully and Mulder! Somewhere along the line, though, my life took over: there was university with no television and it got away from me around season 7. I thought it was behind me, and then recently I started watching from the beginning again on Amazon Prime. And it had me all over again – I laughed, cried, and was sitting on the edge of my seat once more. I couldn’t believe I had ever turned away from it. And then I found this website and reading your comments was like reading what was in my mind – only better than I could ever express it. I read your posts in tandem with my watching and it has made a fantastic experience even better and drew my attention to things that perhaps otherwise I might have missed. It has been like sharing it with a friend – something I can’t do otherwise as my friends are not interested in the show. I have enjoyed your writing so much, and think now I have gotten to the end of my binge-watching I am going to start all over again, with your posts to accompany it from the very beginning this time. Thank you for putting my feelings into words, for showing me I am not the only one who thinks those things!

  38. I found you on an accidental search last night (I think it was “Mulder wears Scully’s necklace”). I haven’t slept because I just read all of your recaps up to this. So good, and so glad you got a lifetime pass for this particular ship; it was my original. I remember the finale being ruined when it first aired because stupid roommate drama (they came home fighting while I was trying to process many years of feelings…no bueno!). I remember seeing Fight the Future in theaters, and the theater ERUPTED with gasps and rage over the bee of doom. (And I can’t stand the Foo Fighters, but “Walking After You” is seriously one of the best songs ever for M/S. Gah.)

    I was out of the loop, so I didn’t know about the reboot until right before it aired. Spoiler free, and phone/internet off while I watched (I still need to get to those entries and the IWTB one).

    After “My Struggle II,” I decided to pull off the binge-watch of all time. March 2016: I started and finished all 9 seasons, both movies, and 20 minutes into “Babylon,” they pulled them offline. I was visiting my parents’ house. They heard an angry wail come out of the guest bedroom. (Luckily, I had a backup place to finish them out). So… Everything in a month. It is still so fresh in my mind, I can’t let it go. (This has also led me to binge Californication in 3 days, and The Fall in 1…as well as read both of Gillian’s and both of David’s…and even the Hank Moody/God Hates Us All book. And lots of random movies…like Goats and the one where GA was suicidal/wormholes. I’ve been busy. What is sleep?)

    The part of me who has a psych degree wants to do some paper on how ADHD Hyperfocus and bingewatching do…something. I don’t know. I’ve forgotten how to sleep through all of this.

    You’re making me want to re-binge at least some of it.

    Looking forward to reading the other mini recaps.

    Oh, one thing. It took you half the season to notice the fish tank at Scully’s? That was the first thing I noticed as the season started!

    Okay, one more thing. The gifs to go alone with “Knowle Rohrer”? First, I scared the crap out of my cat when I started loudly cackling. That turned into wheezing because that was the funniest thing I’d seen in a minute. I thank you.

    My cat…Notsomuch. 😉

    Thanks for these.

  39. THESE POSTS ARE FANTASTIC. I just finished TXF for the first time and have all of the emotions about it. Where do we go from here? Do we just wither away? Do we start from the beginning? WHAT DO WE DOOOOO?

    1. HIIII this is an unbelievably delayed response but THANK YOU! I have no idea where we go from here. Can rewatching The X-Files be a full-time job? Are we supposed to just go around pretending to take interest in conversations that aren’t about Mulder and Scully? I DON’T KNOW.

  40. Hi!
    I’m not sure you will read this but I feel I have to leave you a comment after all your beautiful work.

    A good friend of mine introduced me to this show (well, she couldn’t stop talking about other thing this past Janaury when the 10th season premiered) and I decided to watch the first episodes… Wrong, I JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH MULDER AND SCULLY.

    My friend also said me to look this post because “she says all the dark things you thought”, and she was right. So from Febraury until today I read you after everyone episode I watched. It was watching an episode and thinking “I have to read what Kelly wrote about this scene”. You made me laugh with your notes so hard and cried too much. Also you made me realised things I didn’t catch at the first time, and even love more Mulder and Scully and this show, especially the last seasons hahaha

    I know that I still have to see IWTB, comics and 10th season, but as I feel that part of the show ends here, I just want to thank so you much for everything (and also to all the fandom). I’ll keep reading your next posts until forever.

    A lot of forehead kisses from Spain,

    Marina.

    1. Ahahahah I’m happy to be over here saying the dark things with you. I’m so so so glad you’ve enjoyed the posts!! This makes my day. Lots of Scully’s unbroken eye contact, to Spain from the States!

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