Alias

Spot the baby actor!

If you’re just checking in, here’s an update: British television has largely consumed my summer. And if you’re just checking in on British television, here’s an update on that: Britain has about ten actors. They’re all wildly talented, and they all take turns appearing in each others’ shows and blockbuster films and it’s FINE. It’s fun, actually—it’s like a game. Spot the actor. A friend who’s marathoning her way through Doctor Who texted me in a frenzy when she realized that Cassandra was Madam Hooch in Harry Potter (her exact words: “OMGGG I’M BEATING OUT A SAMBA RIGHT NOW”). These are the exciting moments brought to you by the BBC.

In honor of England’s bigger-on-the-inside entertainment industry, I figure it’s time to talk about our favorite “spot the actor” moments. You know what I’m talking about: those “I had no idea who you were the first time I saw this, but now I know and love you and look at you you’re such a baby!” moments. We’ve all been there. Let’s discuss.

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I watched soap operas in my formative years (and this is what they did to me).

My mom and I used to watch All My Children together. She would pick me up from preschool and we’d go home and hit the couch in time for some peanut butter sandwiches and mid-nineties Kelly Ripa. There were controversial haircuts, bright sweaters, and evil doctors. There were twisters and blackouts and car crashes. I remember something about people trapped in a flooding basement. There was probably also a lot of sexual intrigue, but I didn’t pick up on that. (more…)

There’s No Daddy Like SpyDaddy

People don’t talk about Jack Bristow enough.

victor garber exasperated

I know, Jack. I know.

The man is one of TV’s definitive badasses. He’s stiff and brittle and broken and pretty much over everybody else because everybody else is incompetent. He doesn’t really do relationships. But if you hurt his daughter, he will bury you. (more…)

How the Irish Saved Television*

They gave us JACK DONAGHY, whose great-grandfather walked to Boston from Ireland like a water spider. (more…)

Beware the Ides of Feelings: My Top TV Deaths

“Beware the Ides of March” was the Roman version of a spoilery TV promo. Caesar knew to tune in at 9/8c with his tissues in hand, but he didn’t know why he’d need them, so he just walked around sad and scared all the time.

In his memory, here’s a list of my favorite TV deaths. To clarify, I’m talking actual, never-coming-back deaths, as opposed to the “technically dead for a while” thing, which 83% of TV characters have been at one time or another. I also limited myself to one death per show, to keep this from being The J.J. Abrams Compendium of Sadness.

Obviously, in the spirit of this Roman holiday, the whole list is a spoiler. (more…)

Ladies Being Fierce, Or, TV Moments I Wholeheartedly Support

In honor of International Women’s Day, here are some fierce ladies just doin’ what they do. (more…)