Jack Bristow

There’s No Daddy Like SpyDaddy

People don’t talk about Jack Bristow enough.

victor garber exasperated

I know, Jack. I know.

The man is one of TV’s definitive badasses. He’s stiff and brittle and broken and pretty much over everybody else because everybody else is incompetent. He doesn’t really do relationships. But if you hurt his daughter, he will bury you. (more…)

Beware the Ides of Feelings: My Top TV Deaths

“Beware the Ides of March” was the Roman version of a spoilery TV promo. Caesar knew to tune in at 9/8c with his tissues in hand, but he didn’t know why he’d need them, so he just walked around sad and scared all the time.

In his memory, here’s a list of my favorite TV deaths. To clarify, I’m talking actual, never-coming-back deaths, as opposed to the “technically dead for a while” thing, which 83% of TV characters have been at one time or another. I also limited myself to one death per show, to keep this from being The J.J. Abrams Compendium of Sadness.

Obviously, in the spirit of this Roman holiday, the whole list is a spoiler. (more…)

You Could Be Watching Victor Garber Right Now

In advance of its January premiere, the pilot episode of Deception hit the internet this week. Let’s break it down.

STRENGTHS:

  • Victor Garber wears sweaters.
  • Victor Garber pours tea.
  • Victor Garber cries.
  • Victor Garber is hiding something.

Victor Garber must always be hiding something.

WEAKNESSES:

  • Victor Garber doesn’t blow up a single person in the whole episode. (more…)