Lost

I watched soap operas in my formative years (and this is what they did to me).

My mom and I used to watch All My Children together. She would pick me up from preschool and we’d go home and hit the couch in time for some peanut butter sandwiches and mid-nineties Kelly Ripa. There were controversial haircuts, bright sweaters, and evil doctors. There were twisters and blackouts and car crashes. I remember something about people trapped in a flooding basement. There was probably also a lot of sexual intrigue, but I didn’t pick up on that. (more…)

Beware the Ides of Feelings: My Top TV Deaths

“Beware the Ides of March” was the Roman version of a spoilery TV promo. Caesar knew to tune in at 9/8c with his tissues in hand, but he didn’t know why he’d need them, so he just walked around sad and scared all the time.

In his memory, here’s a list of my favorite TV deaths. To clarify, I’m talking actual, never-coming-back deaths, as opposed to the “technically dead for a while” thing, which 83% of TV characters have been at one time or another. I also limited myself to one death per show, to keep this from being The J.J. Abrams Compendium of Sadness.

Obviously, in the spirit of this Roman holiday, the whole list is a spoiler. (more…)

Romance According to Television

Personally, I’m still of the mindset that a lollipop taped to a construction paper heart should be an acceptable Valentine at any age. It’s personalized and there’s candy involved; WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM US, WORLD? But for an outside-the-box wooing experience, look no further than your favorite shows. If TV is to be believed (and if it isn’t, I’ve made a hug mistake), these are the most foolproof ways to romance that special someone in your life: (more…)