DWTS Week 1 Results Recap: Yes, Ma’am

Announcer: This is Dancing With the Stars.

Tom: Yes, it is!

America, sad news. You can’t buy those bedazzled pink leopard-print suspenders. You’ll have to steal them from Apolo’s home. I don’t condone breaking and entering, but I do condone befriending Olympians and asking for presents. (more…)

How I Met Your Mother Recap: “The Pre-Nup”–Autumn of Breakups

“You know, it’s big comedy, but you also really care about these characters.”

German situational comedies and How I Met Your Mother have that in common. For a show that paints in pretty broad strokes (2,000 page pre-nup! Naked German man!), the heart of the story has always been its detail—the little traits that rip characters apart or pull them together. Thomas and Bays are so certain that this is what matters, so certain that we’re in this for the people, that they don’t lean on the element of surprise. They tell us what’s next and trust that we’ll still care enough to watch it happen. We know a breakup is coming, but it hurts anyway. (more…)

DWTS Week 1 Performance Recap: Smell the Trophy

All-star season is here at last. Pamela’s making duck faces at the camera, Shawn is pocket sized for Derek’s convenience, and Kirstie’s bird hands are ready to fly. Let them out of the cage!

Season 15 is serious business. We’re in the playoffs now, and the judges have a surprise for everyone: HALF-POINTS! Bruno’s so excited that he makes his Dr. Evil face. Brooke is probably less thrilled; this means she has to do harder math.

Welcome back, dysfunctional dance family. Now, in the words of our Emmy-winning host, LET THE INTENSITY COMMENCE. (more…)

Parks and Recreation Recap: “Soda Tax”–Great Adventurers

“What did you put in this sugar? It’s so good!”

Pawnee will always be first in friendship, but if Leslie Knope has her way, her town won’t be fourth in obesity much longer. In an effort to lower diabetes, Leslie has proposed a new soda tax. Look at our little Knope go—she hasn’t even had her first committee meeting, and she’s already spearheading initiatives. This tax could inspire real change in all of Pawnee’s finest dining establishments, from Paunch Burger to Big & Wide to Colonel Plump’s Slough Trough, formerly Sue’s Salads. I’d hold a moment of silence, but who would I be kidding? Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Sue. (more…)

Bones Recap: “The Past in the Present”–Home Sweet Home

“No wonder he went crazy. You can’t really turn people into equations.”

Christopher Pelant puts me through every emotion usually reserved for the NFL replacement refs. Over the course of the season seven finale, I yelled at the TV, cried, paced the floor, and hugged a pillow. I wish Booth could be that pillow. (more…)

Bones Recap: “The Suit on the Set”–Invasion of the Mother Suckers

“I don’t understand. If you have a useful talent, why are you an actor?”

So! We’ve got an actress playing a film actress playing Kathy Reichs, who’s based on a book character written by a TV character who’s based on the ACTUAL Kathy Reichs but named after the actual Reichs’s book character.

I think this episode collapsed under the weight of its own meta-ness. (more…)